283 downstairs

My wife has a cold,
But my farts weren't unnoticed
Because sound exists.

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282 home

Wow wow wow wow wow.
That was a shitload of shit.
I guess all dumps are?

Sent from my iPhone

281 downstairs

My brother's birthday
Has nothing to do with this.
And yet, here we are.

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280 downstairs

This wasn't my best
Shit of all time, but still a
Solid number two.

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279 home

Yesterday

Knew I wasn't done,
But I wasn't prepared to
Sit and wait all day.


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278 downstairs

I tried this last night,
But all the sound and fury
Signified nothing.

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277 downstairs

I'm getting this out
To preserve my new car's smell
A little longer.

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276 home

Friday the 13th!
Nothing today will scare me
More than this odor.

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275 home

(Yesterday)

Third time in a day!
I hope no one wasted their
3 wishes on…these.

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274 home

I had to run here.
Well, I technically waddled
But I think that counts.

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273 home

Working from home means
Pushing, shitting, and wiping
From home. And crying.

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272 work

I had a quick break
And made the most of it. Well,
I sure made something.

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271 downstairs

I've been here a while,
But somehow the bathroom still
Has that new fart smell.

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270 downstairs

Sunday night football
Has nothing to do with this,
And yet I wrote it.

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269 downstairs

Football's coming on,
Let's hope there's no second down
From this tight end. Punt.

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268 home

If at first you don't
Push feces through your rectum,
Try to push again.

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267 home

Before my next call,
I thought it wise to, ya know,
Destroy the bathroom.

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266 home

"Do I have to shit?"
I wondered for one second.
Then my answer plopped.

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265 downstairs

Cut my workout short
When I felt this one brewing.
Guess it's butthole day.

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264 downstairs

It's Cyber Monday,
But this shit is analog.
I don't know either.

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263 home

I just keep farting!
Occasionally, like now,
The farts are solid.

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