Saturday, November 29, 2014

Nov 29

After Black Friday,
According to this shit, it's
Light Brown Saturday.

Sent from my iPhone

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Nov 27

Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm giving way more than thanks
To the toilet bowl.

Sent from my iPhone

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Nov 23

It feels like my ass
Got the "spray gun" from Contra.
(Guys my age get it.)

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Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Nov 19

Another gross shit.
I think my body's saying,
"Here's some more gross shit."

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Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Nov 18

If I named this shit,
I think it would have to be
(In a loud voice) RAAAAAALPH!!!!

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Monday, November 17, 2014

Nov 17

Monday morning dumps
Are like rainbows, 'cause they both
...uhhhh. I got nothing.

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Friday, November 14, 2014

Nov 14

Watched the Lakers lose,
Then I lost something: about
5 pounds' worth of shit.

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Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Nov 11

For Veterans' Day,
I - wait, I shouldn't say that.
Or that either. Damn.

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Saturday, November 8, 2014

Nov 8

I ate a McRib,
But my shit is devoid of
Fake bones. What a shame.

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Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Nov 5

Candy is magic!
I ate a Snickers but now
Poop out M&Ms.

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Monday, November 3, 2014

Nov 3

I ate at Sharky's,
But after this shit, they should
Rename it Sharty's.

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