225 work

Got in and out fast
Before the receptionist
Had time to worry.

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224 work

It's Cyber Monday,
And this is a massive shit.
Those aren't related.

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223 downstairs

"More like Brown Friday,"
I thought to myself and laughed.
"Better write that down."

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222 kids’ bathroom

The shit symphony
Gracefully concluded with
A minor movement.

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221 downstairs

This almost looks like
It was made out of lego.
Uh, fecal lego.

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220 downstairs

No shit for 4 days,
So this nastiness makes sense,
But man, it's nasty.

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219 downstairs

This must be a sign
That I should eat more salad.
Message received, God.

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218 kids’ bathroom

(Yesterday)

More farts and more shit.
I'm glad I'm working from home -
My work should be too.

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217 kids’ bathroom

(Yesterday)
From this point forward,
Please call me by my new name:
Sir Squirts McGrossbutt.

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216 work

I was gonna say
This dump went "lickety split,"
But "lick" isn't good.

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215 downstairs

Make up your mind, butt!
First you act like you're done, then
BAM! Here comes more shit.

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214 downstairs

A big steak dinner
Made for a big shit session.
Cause and effect, yo.

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213 kids’ bathroom

I might have to pay
Crayola some royalties,
'Cause this is "brick red."

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212 work

I just wiped so much
It seemed supernatural,
Like a…holy shit.

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211 downstairs

Squoze a little out
Before starting the workday.
It is too a word!

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210 kids’ bathroom

Since I'm not British,
"A bloody mess" actually
Means "a bloody mess."

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209 downstairs

Two bowls of chili
Plus two McRib sandwiches
Equals one foul shit.

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208 downstairs

Got the dentist soon.
He'll clean up one orifice,
But I call this one.

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207 work!

I squeezed this shit out
While I also squeezed it in.
How fascinating.

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206 downstairs

When a good friend asks,
You put him in your haiku:
This shit's for you, Jon.

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