Friday, March 31, 2023

117 work

I got here early
And shat in relative peace.
The smell upset me.

Sent from my iPhone

Thursday, March 30, 2023

116 downstairs

Did a food tasting,
Then immediately shat.
That's a good sign, right?

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Wednesday, March 29, 2023

115 downstairs

My boy has strep throat.
While that sucks, it's better than
Having strep rectum.

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Monday, March 27, 2023

114 downstairs

Mac and cheese cooking,
But I stepped away for this.
I know - what a chef.

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Sunday, March 26, 2023

113 home

Held on the whole drive,
Then unleashed this long monster.
I'll call it Nessy.

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Saturday, March 25, 2023

112 SD hotel

Another small piece.
I'm worried that my next shit
Will be gigantor.

Sent from my iPhone

111 downstairs

Just a little blip.
Might not even show up on
The Dumplar Radar.

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Thursday, March 23, 2023

110 home

My dearest WingStop,
Can you please WingStop me from
WingShitting so much?

Sent from my iPhone

109 home

A rare clog from me.
Must've been heavy, weight-wise
And spiritually.

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108 home

I've had this ass for
Four and a half decades, yet
Sometimes it gets me.

Sent from my iPhone

Wednesday, March 22, 2023

107 home

As I was wiping,
I heard a zoom call ringing.
The rest is a blur.

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106 home

Knew I wasn't done,
Just like I know I'll go more
Before today's done.

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105 downstairs

Teachers are striking,
But my rectum sure isn't.
That thing is WORKING.

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Tuesday, March 21, 2023

104 downstairs

Making mac and cheese,
So I need this to be quick.
I'm such a good dad.

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103 downstairs

19 years ago,
I got married. Did I shit?
With no blog, who knows?

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Friday, March 17, 2023

102 home

It's March Madness time,
And I just had a slam dump.
Didn't check for seeds.

Sent from my iPhone

101 downstairs

It's St. Patty's Day,
And yet my shit wasn't green.
Would've been something.

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Thursday, March 16, 2023

100 downstairs

My colon seems like
It's actually a series
Of non-stop commas.

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99 home

Yesterday

With 4 shits today,
It's truly becoming a
Match to remember.

Sent from my iPhone

Wednesday, March 15, 2023

98 downstairs

Doing a podcast
Later this morning. Hope I
Got all them farts out.

Sent from my iPhone

97 downstairs

Just a wee nugget,
But aye, ye better believe
It be a fierce one.

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Tuesday, March 14, 2023

96 home

I'm back home from work,
But I'm still doing some work -
Working this shit out!

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Monday, March 13, 2023

95 downstairs

(Yesterday)
Am I back to my
Pre-colonoscopy ass?
Feels and smells like it.

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Sunday, March 12, 2023

94 downstairs

First shit since the 'scope.
Not sure what you did there, doc,
But it's smoooooth sailing.

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Friday, March 10, 2023

93 downstairs

Have you ever pissed
From two holes at the same time?
It was quite…draining.

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92 downstairs

And…I'm over this.
it's been fun and all, but my
Asshole is weeping.

Sent from my iPhone

91 downstairs

The forecast calls for
Violent butt thunderstorms and
Some forceful mudslides.

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90 downstairs

He's back at it, folks!
The geyser's still brownish so
More spewing ahead!

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Thursday, March 9, 2023

89 downstairs

Last before bedtime?
The blood on the TP says,
"I fucking hope so."

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88 downstairs

How is there still more?
Jesus and The Funky Bunch!
My poor, poor sphincter.

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87 home

One thing's for certain:
If I used to have some brains,
I've now shit them out.

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86 home

My butthole feels like
I ate spicy food. But this
Is different burning.

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85 home

Is that it for now?
Sad to say I don't think so.
Sad for my asshole.

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84 home

I don't understand
How I still have some islands
In this flowing stream.

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83 home

I got a brief break,
But can you guess what happened?
Peeing out my ass!

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82 home

And so it's begun.
I underestimated
The sounds. All the sounds.

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Wednesday, March 8, 2023

81 downstairs

Dear Baby Jesus,
Please make this today's last shit.
Sincerely, My Butt.

Sent from my iPhone

80 kids’ bathroom

Now it's just stupid.
I'm gonna be all cleaned out
And then take "the drink."

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79 downstairs

The squirts already?
I don't start the colon prep
Until tomorrow!

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78 downstairs

I ate no hummus
From The Hummus Bar. And yet,
This is hummusesque.

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Tuesday, March 7, 2023

77 downstairs

I went this morning
But forgot to write it down.
Heh heh, I said butt.

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Sunday, March 5, 2023

76 downstairs

Lots of morning farts.
Hope this means that they'll be gone
Before Trader Joe's.

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Friday, March 3, 2023

75 downstairs

That shit was forceful,
As if it and my rectum
Have opposite poles.

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Thursday, March 2, 2023

74 downstairs

Almost my demi-
Sesquicentennial shit!
Yeah, I made that up.

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Wednesday, March 1, 2023

73 downstairs

I can't stop shitting.
Good practice for next Friday's
Colonoscopy.

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72 Palm Springs hotel

My butthole is sore.
This has been a shitful trip,
And it's felt it all.

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