Thursday, June 29, 2017

89

First of my 40s,
And my butt might've poured out
40 shit ounces.

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Monday, June 26, 2017

88

Last of my 30s,
And I'm ending the decade
With a bang. And splash.

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Saturday, June 24, 2017

87

I think the black beans
Stayed as individuals.
Where's the teamwork, guys?

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Friday, June 23, 2017

86

The sushi was great,
But the tuna tataki's
Now "poo poo caca."

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85

In Utah, shitting,
And it stings (which makes sense since
It's the Beehive State.

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Monday, June 19, 2017

84

What a magic trick:
I turned my mom's egg soufflé
Into my own shit!

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Sunday, June 18, 2017

83

Well, it's Father's Day,
And my asshole just fathered
A litter of kids.

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Thursday, June 15, 2017

82

I'm quite thankful that
Beef jerky comes out softer
Than how it went in.

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81

Hello, normal shit.
It's been a long time. Take care;
See you again soon.

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Sunday, June 11, 2017

80

"I might have to shit"
Turned into, "Out of my way!"
In two seconds flat.


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Friday, June 9, 2017

79

I barely made it.
Haven't I done this enough
To be more ready?

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Thursday, June 8, 2017

78

Really thinking hard
About when I last ate corn,
And I have no clue.

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Tuesday, June 6, 2017

77

I watched Moana,
And now I think this shit is
The size of The Rock.

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Sunday, June 4, 2017

76

In the kids' bathroom,
Stinking the place up like mad.
Father of the Year!

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Thursday, June 1, 2017

75

More bubbling crude.
But this ain't no Texas Tea.
Please, please don't drink this.

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