16 home

Back to normal-ish,
Which still means gross and smelly.
That's feces for ya!

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15 home

Hey diarrhea,
Starting with "die" is spot on,
But what's arrhea?


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14 downstairs

I think that one's done,
But kinda have to go more.
Sunday Funday, right?

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13 downstairs

Second of the day,
And just like The Godfather,
A third would be bad.

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12 downstairs

The word "unpleasant"
Doesn't cover it enough.
More like "displeasant."

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11 downstairs

This will make me late,
But what's my other option?
Shitting in traffic?

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10 home

I almost forgot,
But even quick and clean dumps
Deserve a haiku.

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9 home

My hole was empty,
And then there was shit. Ta-da!
Next trick coming soon.

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8 kids’ bathroom

By a show of hands,
Who likes messy shits? No one?
Then who ordered this?


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7 kids’ bathroom

This shit was boring.
Unremarkable, and I
Don't mind it one bit.

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6 home

Sinus infection
Doesn't explain the pressure
In this cavity.

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5 kids’ bathroom

What's up, my body?
Five shit in twelve days? I sense
Some big days ahead.

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4 home

I still have a cold,
But I'm doing well enough
That I can smell this.

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3 home

I got a bad cold.
Doesn't explain why my butt
Is also stuffed up.


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2 home

It took 6 whole days
For me to make #2.
You know what I mean.

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1 downstairs

First shit of the year.
And just like today's weather,
It's dark and stormy.

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