14

Back home from Big Bear,
And I ran upstairs to shit.
Ya know, "unpacking."

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13

Lucky shit thirteen.
As in, "Lucky the toilet
Flushed all of that down."

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12

Leaving for Big Bear,
But first needed to Big Shit
(But not in the woods).

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11

Why is Shinola
Coming out of my asshole?
Time for a checkup.

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10

"Can you please not fight
For five minutes while I poop?"
#fatherhood


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9

It's really not fair.
The sweet and sour chicken
Came out all sour.

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8

For MLK day,
Is it rude to say my shit
Is "free at last?" (Yes.)

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7

"I might have to shit"
Turned to, "Look out, everyone!"
In 1.5 farts.

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6

Got a traffic jam.
The tunnel's too narrow for
My big ass dump truck.


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5

My son is home sick,
But I feel ok...except
For this leaky butt.

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4

I thought my rectum
Would provide more traction than
This shit Slip N' Slide.

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3

I'm not gonna lie;
My shit do stink. And it stinks
Like death incarnate.

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2

Today is 1/2,
As in, "i just ate one two
Many sausages."

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1

Happy '17!
Starting the year off right by
Expunging the old.



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