Saturday, March 31, 2018

48 home (downstairs)

Played poker last night,
And now my shit is poking
Right out me asshole.

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Thursday, March 29, 2018

46 work

I ate something bad.
Maybe not rotten, per se,
But bad for my ass.

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Tuesday, March 27, 2018

46 home

Sometimes I wish that
I could unhinge my asshole.
I mean, it would help.

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Monday, March 26, 2018

45 home

My butt was like, "Yo,
I gots to tell you something."
But then he threw up.

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Saturday, March 24, 2018

44 home

About to shower,
And that's a really good thing.
Cuz this shit nasty.

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Friday, March 23, 2018

43 work

Rebecca Black sang,
"Gotta get down on Friday."
So I'm sitting down.

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Tuesday, March 20, 2018

41 work

I was sitting down
While watching stand-up. I'm the
Grand Old Dook of York.

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Saturday, March 17, 2018

40 home (downstairs)

Mason's baseball game
Is coming up, but my ass
Just had a foul out.

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Friday, March 16, 2018

39 home

Still got more brewing,
But this should suffice for now.
Give dat ass a break.

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Wednesday, March 14, 2018

38 home

After giant farts,
I'm shitting out small pebbles.
Kind of a let down.

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Tuesday, March 13, 2018

37 home

Those two giant logs
Felt like they weighted five pounds each.
Who needs a diet?

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Sunday, March 11, 2018

37 home (downstairs)

March Madness brackets
And intestinal madness:
What a fitting pair!

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Wednesday, March 7, 2018

36 home (kids’ bathroom)

Gingerly shitting
With a band-aid on my balls.
I feel really old.

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Tuesday, March 6, 2018

35 home

Hey, diarrhea.
Just saying hi before my
Vasectomy? Thanks!

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34 work (from yesterday)

My vasectomy
Is tomorrow. That is all.
Nothing witty here.

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Thursday, March 1, 2018

33 work (downstairs)

Took the bigger stall,
And my shit stink expanded
To fill up the space.

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