135 downstairs

I ate too much cake,
And overnight it has changed
Into pure frosting.

Sent from my iPhone

134 kids’ bathroom

A post-birthday shit
Is the type of present that's
Not worth receiving.

Sent from my iPhone

133 downstairs (yesterday)

A tiny nugget
That I almost forgot, but
Shitten gets written.

Sent from my iPhone

132 home

Chipotle's red sauce
Ran through me like Usain Bolt.
But red. And faster.

Sent from my iPhone

131 downstairs

Hey kids! Cows say moo,
Chickens cluck, horses neigh, and
My ass goes Splat Splat!

Sent from my iPhone

130 home

I'm working from home,
Which means I'm shitting from home.
How scientific.

Sent from my iPhone

129 home

The courtesy flush
Didn't do nearly enough.
Learn your manners, butt.

Sent from my iPhone

128 home

Meetings are starting,
Meanwhile this guy's a-farting.
How brokenhearting.

Sent from my iPhone

127 home

Well that shit needed
No coaxing, cajoling, or
Encouraging words.

Sent from my iPhone

126 downstairs

I shimmied. It worked.
The shit went from not moving
To dancing on out.

Sent from my iPhone

125 home

Happy Farter's Day!
I mean Happy Father's Day,
Though both apply here.

Sent from my iPhone

124 home

Damn, my second shit
And I think there's more to come.
What a fun Friday.

Sent from my iPhone

123 downstairs

I thought I was done,
But to my surprise, out came
One final pellet.

Sent from my iPhone

122 work

I expected more,
And still expect more. I know,
I'm so demanding.

Sent from my iPhone

121 downstairs

Going back to work,
And better I do this here
Than make enemies.

Sent from my iPhone

120 home

Unloaded the car
Then unloaded my rectum.
Smelled bad and felt worse.

Sent from my iPhone

119 Los Olivos house

Not eating so well,
So, well, this isn't going
So well for my butt.

Sent from my iPhone

118 downstairs

Going on a trip,
And it feels like I'll have some
"Away shits." Stay tuned.

Sent from my iPhone

117 downstairs

Had some shitless days,
But making up for it with
This gem of a turd.

Sent from my iPhone

116 kids’ bathroom

Should've weighed myself.
Between this one and the last,
That's 5 pounds easy.

Sent from my iPhone

115 kids’ bathroom

Graduation week,
And my gpa is high.
Gross Poo Assortment.

Sent from my iPhone

114 home

This doesn't smell like
Yogurt, oatmeal, or salad.
So…what the fuck, butt?

Sent from my iPhone