361 downstairs

This shit smells like steak,
But it's not appetizing.
Ya fucked up, body.

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360 kids’ bathroom

I don't think I'll reach
The shit-a-day mark. Unless…
Hi there, Taco Bell!

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359 downstairs

Yesterday

How could I forget
To write on my dad's birthday?
That - like this shit - stinks.

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358 home

I learned a new trick:
How to turn breakfast tacos
Into noontime shits!

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357 downstairs

It's my half-birthday
But I got the toilet a
Full present. Quite full.

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356 work

Happy Boxing Day!
I just did a good deal of
Unpacking some shit.

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355 home

That's not Santa's sleigh
Shooting out through my rectum.
And that's a good thing.

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354 home

Merry Christmas Eve!
This year, I left a present
Under the water.

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353 home

Light day of meetings,
But this dump was quite heavy.
Isn't that bizarre?

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352 home

The kids have a break,
But my only rest from work
Is when I'm shitting.

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351 downstairs

We're in the home stretch.
And based on this shit, "stretch" is
The operative word.

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350 work

Number three fifty!
I'll give that number a word:
Sitsquishtennial.


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349 downstairs

Gotta go to work,
And I think there's more coming.
🎶Gettin' paid to poop! 🎶
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348 downstairs

This got messy quick.
Everything was fine at first.
Just like a threesome.

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347 kids’ bathroom

What's gross and needed
Three flushes worth of wiping?
You're looking at him!

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346 work

I should look slimmer
After what I just shat out.
But I don't. Bummer.

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345 downstairs

My butthole hurts, sure.
But that dump was harder on
My back. That's fucked up.
Sent from my iPhone

344 home

The urgency said
"Diarrhea," but the form
Said, "Nope. Normal shit."

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343 downstairs

I've said it before:
Fancy, expensive food still
Turns into this shit.

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342 downstairs

Work dinner tonight,
And farting non-stop would be
A poor career move.

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341 downstairs

Sit, push, plop, push, plop.
That sounds like a number from
That "Chicago" play.

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340 home

Needed the plunger.
"Was it the TP or just
The size?" he pondered.
Sent from my iPhone

339 downstairs

The width of that shit
Made me wide-eyed in return.
That's pure pooetry.

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338 downstairs

(Yesterday)
Very rushed morning,
So I'm glad this came out quick.
My butt was like, "What?"

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