279 downstairs

Ate food from a place
Called "Eureka!" This morning,
"I found it" again.

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278 home

Hey, you remember
The Energizer Bunny?
Well, this is like that.

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277 downstairs

I thought I was done
But then I leaned forward and
Well…I wasn't done.

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276 downstairs

I knew I'd be back
For more shit this morning. How?
Just a gut feeling.

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275 downstairs

Called for a slider
But got a knuckleball with
Some cutting action.

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274 downstairs

Texas barbecue
Doesn't travel well when it's
In me and days old.

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273 home

I'm back from Texas
And didn't shit there. Look out.
This won't be pretty.

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272 home

3! Been a long time.
Can't remember if I say
"Butt trick" or "shat trick."

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271 downstairs

"Wait, I'm not done yet!
I have so much more to give!"
-Peter Klein's asshole

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270 downstairs

2 days til Texas,
Where barbecue food makes for
Top notch haiku fuel.


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269 work

I knew there was more!
It was ready to go and
My rectum obliged.

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268 downstairs

Didn't have much time,
So this may be a prequel
To the main (shit)show

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267 downstairs

New year, same asshole.
Still making a mess of things
For me to clean up.

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266 downstairs

Happy Jew New Year!
Sitting here before I sit
Through the services.

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265 kids’ bathroom

Back again so soon?
Yes, and I brought a 12-inch
Anus snake with me.

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264 home

Back on my home throne.
My rectum had less traffic
Than the 101.

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263 Marriott

Before I head home,
I'm leaving a little gift.
A few, actually.

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262 Marriott

Yesterday

Steak, salad, and wine
Were all yummy going down.
Less so coming out.

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261 Marriott DTLA

My room was ready,
So my butt got down to work.
And - whew! - work it did.

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260 downstairs

The conference downtown
Will be more fun than this, but
They might smell the same.

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259 downstairs

A long day today.
Good to get this done early
And not mid-meeting.

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258 work

Banged that out quickly.
"Banged" isn't the right word though.
"Slithered" is better.

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257 downstairs

(Last night)

A shit before bed
Is just like a lullaby.
No it's not. I lied.

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256 downstairs

Not body shaming,
But that shit was a fatty.
Like almost obese.

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255 downstairs

Just a tiny thing.
Not sure it deserves a full
Seventeen syllab-

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254 downstairs

That was really gross.
Like "everyone get down and
Hide your children" gross.

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253 downstairs

After days of farts,
I expected more relief
From dropping solid.

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252 home

This shit foreshadows
The play I'm seeing tonight.
Which? Les Miserables.

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251 work

The toilet paper
Is upside down. I'd protest,
But I need to wipe.

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