250 downstairs

Would this shit be my
Bisesquicentennial?
We may never know.

Sent from my iPhone

249 kids’ bathroom

Just a tiny thing.
If it weren't fecal matter,
It might be called cute.

Sent from my iPhone

248 work

A meeting was changed,
So I get to take a shit.
Little victories.

Sent from my iPhone

247 downstairs

My wife has Covid.
The sickest thing in the house,
Though, is this gross shit.

Sent from my iPhone

246 downstairs

Way too many days
Between this and the last shit.
I smell a sequel.

Sent from my iPhone

245 home

Wife is out of town
And I'm thankful, because she
Doesn't deserve…this.

Sent from my iPhone

244 home

Really thinking hard
About what I ate that caused
Massive putridness.

Sent from my iPhone

243 home

Got a nice massage,
But I think all the kneading
Made this come faster.

Sent from my iPhone

242 downstairs

A pretty quick one.
Please note the lack of comma.
It wasn't pretty.

Sent from my iPhone

241 downstairs

2-4-1 is right.
That was enough volume for
Two shits. At least two.

Sent from my iPhone

240 work

I just couldn't wait,
And honestly, I should write
Three haiku for that.

Sent from my iPhone

239 work

Got to work early
So I got to shit in peace.
Scratch that - in pieces.

Sent from my iPhone

238 home

(Yesterday)
Pre-funeral dump.
At least I know any tears
Won't be from my stench.


Sent from my iPhone

237 home

A quick second shit
Before a slew of meetings.
Hey, timing is ev-

Sent from my iPhone

236 downstairs

If I waited more,
I think there was more on deck.
Also in the hole.

Sent from my iPhone

235 kids’ bathroom

I ordered chicken
But think I may have eaten
Long brown snake instead.

Sent from my iPhone

234 downstairs

Taylor Swift tonight!
My asshole is "delicate"
And had some "bad blood."

Sent from my iPhone

232 downstairs

I've often wondered
If an all-brown-food diet
Would change anything.

Sent from my iPhone

231 downstairs

The hits keep coming!
Oops, I typed that wrong. They're shits.
The shits keep coming.

Sent from my iPhone

230 home

2-30? More like
Asshole hurty. And nasal
Cavity hurty.

Sent from my iPhone

229 downstairs

Would it be racist
If - actually, you know what?
I'm gonna stop here.

Sent from my iPhone

228 downstairs

Today is 8-1.
Like, "I 8-1 burrito
And then dropped a dos."

Sent from my iPhone