169 kids’ bathroom

Second messy shit,
And that's before my steak lunch
Makes its mark. Skid mark.

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168 downstairs

Behind last year's pace
By almost two weeks. That's…bad?
My hole says it's great.

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167 downstairs

Monday-like Tuesdays
Are so confusing. Even
My stomach's upset.

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166 home

Grilled black bean burgers,
But they're still in my stomach.
Next one should be fun!

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165 home

That one was nasty.
Not in a "great curveball" way,
But a "ewww gross" way.

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164 downstairs

Getting a haircut.
I mean after this, of course.
Ya god damn sicko.

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163 home

You know in movies
When steam comes out from a pipe?
It's kinda like that.

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162 home

Foul smelling demon!
Be gone! Thou art banished to
Thy watery grave!

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161 downstairs

Stopped home for a sec,
And managed to squeeze this out
Before heading back.

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160 downstairs

It's like I'm shifting
My discomfort's location:
Gas pain to ass pain.

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159 Big Sur cabin

I shat in the woods,
And the log did make a sound
But also a smell.

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158 kids’ bathroom

That fourth number 2
Announced itself urgently.
Was quite…fourthcoming?

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157 kids’ bathroom

That's the trifecta!
Not just three shits, but shitting
In all three bathrooms.

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156 downstairs

Glad I got this out
Before some non-stop meetings.
They're on Zoom, but still.

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155 downstairs

The Chipotle bowl
Had a typo. It should say
Chipotle bowel.

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154 kids’ bathroom

First in a few days.
Will the antibiotics
Further slow things down?

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153 home

Did the Sudafed
Give my body the message
To clear out all holes?

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152 downstairs

I blew my nose while
The shit came out of my ass.
BOW BEFORE YOUR GOD!

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151 home

Home with a sore throat.
Think I'd actually prefer
To have a sore ass.

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150 downstairs

I came home from work
On the early side for this.
They should all thank me.

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149 home

Needed two flushes
From all the toilet paper.
Gross shits will do that.

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148 home

Friday

How did I forget?
What kind of poo haikuist
Almost skips a shit?


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147 downstairs

My dumps-per-day rate
Is way down. I'll crunch the full
DPD stats soon.

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146 home

That's 3 already
And it's about noon. Could I
Go for 4? Or 5?!?!

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145 home

What could've caused this?
Indian food? WingStop? Or…
Something…from beyond?

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144 downstairs

I've said it before,
But it's a fittingly gross
One forty-fourth shit.

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143 work

First bathroom I tried
Was out of toilet paper.
So glad I saw that.

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