32 downstairs

January ends
With barely more shits than days.
Yay? Boo? I'm not sure.

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31 downstairs

I held it all day.
The single bathrooms at work
Would've outed me.

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30 downstairs

Turkey chili and
Some baked beans after. Forecast
Calls for thunderstorms.

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29 downstairs

A dog bit my ass.
I'm fine, and it doesn't make
Shitting any worse.

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28 home

My wife is at work,
So I can wreck our bathroom
With impunity.

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27 downstairs

Second of the day
And it's only eight o'clock.
This isn't good news.

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26 downstairs

TGIF? No.
Sorry honey, it's Thursday.
Or SHIT.

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25 downstairs (yesterday)

Hate to shit and run,
But I guess it's better than
Running and shitting.

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24 downstairs

It's 2 for Tuesday!
Unless you're counting movements.
Then it's like…7.

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23 downstairs

Did I eat shawarma?
I don't think I ate shawarma,
But…well…you get it.

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22 downstairs

An all-day meeting
Would make shitting pretty tough.
Thank you, morning dump.

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21 home

Number 21,
Just like blackjack, but this time
It's brown. And not Jack.

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20 downstairs

Saturday shits are
Just like weekday shits except
A lot less hurried.

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19 downstairs

That was a gross one.
It's like it only had a
Loose concept of shit.

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18 downstairs

I think I shat out
Those short rib raviolis.
But now they're long ribs.

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17 downstairs

Started with a fart.
Farted some more. Shat a bit.
Then guess what. More farts.

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16 downstairs

I don't know what's up.
I'll go a few times and then
Not for days. The fuck?

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15 downstairs

I just went a lot
But feel like more is coming.
Yes, there will be mud.

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14 downstairs

I dropped that turd like
Moses dropped the tablet with
Fifteen commandments.


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13 downstairs

I'm glad this podcast
Doesn't know it's the soundtrack
To Peter shitting.

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12 downstairs

Just got a haircut,
So taking a shit now is…
Exactly the same.

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11 downstairs

The chicken kebab
Magically transformed into
Chicken koobideh.

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10 downstairs

Waited to get home,
Then quickly plopped my ass down.
Then came more plopping.

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9 downstairs

Kids are back in school,
But a quick stop at the pool
Fit with no problem.

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8 downstairs

Back above pace, folks!
It took a week, but I feel,
In a word, relieved.


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7 home

Gonna volunteer
At an animal shelter.
I can't smell like ass.

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6 downstairs

I think it's Twelfth Night.
My butt shall play Orsino.
Well, at least the O.

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5 home

It's still raining hard.
So much, in fact, that it caused
This bathroom mudslide.

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4 downstairs

It's raining outside,
And my butt is thundering.
A few hailstones too.

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3 downstairs

Getting back on track
In a quick and painless way.
Well, mostly painless.

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2 downstairs

This one took some work.
Glad I've done those ab workouts
For these crap work-outs.

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1 downstairs

First of '23!
Behind the poop-a-day pace,
But I got this shit.

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