248 home

I'm breaking new ground
And adding to the legend
With every spla-dow.

Sent from my iPhone

247 home

We're still in July,
But I've surpassed last year's shits.
What the fucking fuck?

Sent from my iPhone

246 downstairs

That one surprised me.
Can't figure out why it was
So dark in color.

Sent from my iPhone

245 downstairs

Going into work
But not until after lunch.
And after this shit.

Sent from my iPhone

244 downstairs

That sounded like an
Alka Seltzer commercial.
Minus the fizz fizz.

Sent from my iPhone

243 work

I predicted this.
Three shits so far, and still more
Dumpable time slots.

Sent from my iPhone

242 work

From the feel of it,
I thought this would be messy.
But TP don't lie.

Sent from my iPhone

241 home

Nothing for 3 days?
That's bad news. My asshole is
Quivering with fear.

Sent from my iPhone

240 home

We're still in July,
And I've almost matched last year's
Total haiku count.

Sent from my iPhone

239 home

That was a lot more,
But I was mostly prepared.
Not mentally though.

Sent from my iPhone

238 downstairs

The kids have Art Camp,
But I could be a counselor
At Fart Camp right now.

Sent from my iPhone

238 downstairs

The kids have Art Camp,
But I could be a counselor
At Fart Camp right now.

Sent from my iPhone

237 work

Traffic was lighter,
Both from the kids' camp to work
And through my rectum.

Sent from my iPhone

236 downstairs

Oh great, I'm bleeding.
I guess that happens when I'm
A shitting machine.

Sent from my iPhone

235 home

I'm truly grateful
That I don't have an extra
Nose near my asshole.

Sent from my iPhone

234 downstairs

Happy Saturday!
Sorry, that was a typo.
I meant Splatterday.

Sent from my iPhone

233 home

Third time's the charm? No.
Third time's actually the harm
(To my poor rectum).

Sent from my iPhone

232 home

The sputtering farts
Smelled a lot better than their
Solid counterparts.

Sent from my iPhone

231 kids’ bathroom

Friday morning dumps
Have a way of announcing
That all journeys end.

Sent from my iPhone

230 downstairs

Number tooth-hurty,
But it's a different hole that's
Getting all cleaned out.

Sent from my iPhone

229 home

Unlike my drive home,
There was nothing "stop and go"
With this shit. Just "go."

Sent from my iPhone

228 work

The meeting ended,
And I quickly penguin-walked
To my work shit spot.

Sent from my iPhone

227 downstairs

I'm sore from workouts,
So sitting felt good until
I did some butt reps.

Sent from my iPhone

226 kids’ bathroom

Starting this week off
With a…not a bang per se.
More of a squish-pop.

Sent from my iPhone

225 home

Taking our daughter
To Catalina Sea Camp.
My dump is jealous.

Sent from my iPhone

224 work

Glad I could go now,
So I'm not farting during
Twenty meetings straight.

Sent from my iPhone

223 home

My rectum must be
In fantastic shape because
It works out a lot.

Sent from my iPhone

222 downstairs

For shit 2-2-2,
I thought I'd get two pieces.
Alas, there were three.

Sent from my iPhone

221 downstairs

Well, third time's the charm.
(If my goal was to have a
Furious asshole.)

Sent from my iPhone

220 home

Back again so soon?
And just after I bravely
Unclenched my butt cheeks.

Sent from my iPhone

219 home

I ate too many
Burgers and dogs, or at least
It sure smells that way.

Sent from my iPhone

218 work

I have some good news,
And I have the sore, bleeding
Asshole kind of news.

Sent from my iPhone

217 work

The fifth of July,
But I've got more explosions.
Emphasis on "but."

Sent from my iPhone

216 kids’ bathroom

To honor this day,
My butt made explosions that
Yielded oohs and ahhs.

Sent from my iPhone

215 downstairs

The blood is red on
What was white toilet paper,
Which makes me feel blue.

Sent from my iPhone

214 downstairs

Like Valentine's Day,
This is number 2-14.
Oh, and it's mushy.

Sent from my iPhone

213 downstairs

Eager, ripe asses
Prepare to give their fruits to
The waters below.

Sent from my iPhone

212 downstairs

Halfway through the year
And over 200 shits.
This does not compute.

Sent from my iPhone

211 downstairs

Back shitting at home.
It's comforting, but it's not
Comfortable. At all.

Sent from my iPhone