142 downstairs

Cherry blossoms. There,
Now it's a traditional
Haiku. About shit.

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141 kids’ bathroom

I think it's unfair
That ocean dumping is bad
But this is just fine.

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140 home

Third one today and
It smells like last night's soup, so…
We've found the culprit.

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139 home

Squeezed another out.
Well technically it was more
Pushing than squeezing.

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138 downstairs

I'm glad I found time
Before the day gets crazy
To shit my brains out.

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137 downstairs

Three times yesterday
And starting early today.
April showers, man.

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136 work

Squeezed out a bit more.
I'd been farting up a storm
And one turned solid.

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135 work

Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's
Take a foul-smelling-messy-
Dump-at-work I go.

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134 work

Had to do this now
Before my nonstop meetings.
Even my butt's packed.

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133 downstairs

Getting this out now
Before heading off to work.
(This should count as work.)

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132 downstairs

I'm kinda grossed out,
And you know if I say that,
You'd be grossed out too.

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131 downstairs

The color "brick red"
Is a brownish-red mixture.
This is relevant.

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130 kids’ bathroom

Is my butthole sore
Or did I eat spicy food?
Either way, it hurts.

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129 kids’ bathroom

To honor Earth Day,
I made some fertilizer.
Fresh, human-grade dung.

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128 downstairs

I sat and said, "Ahhh."
And then I shat and said, "Ahhh."
I'm sending a theme.

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127 work

This post Easter shit
Is neither rabbit-like nor
Raise-the-dead-able.


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126 downstairs

Between Good Friday
And Easter has a new name:
Stinky Saturday.

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125 home

The angel of death
Would get one whiff of this and
Passover our house.

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124 home

Well that wasn't fun.
If buttholes can have flashbacks,
This might've caused some.

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123 downstairs

More to come later.
Fo sho. But one thing's in doubt:
Will there be more blood?

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122 work

I came in early
And was able to do this
Alone with my smell.

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121 kids’ bathroom

Back home, back dumping.
It's nice to be on home turd,
I mean turf. Home turf.

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120 big bear cabin

A mountain of shit
Before leaving the mountains.
Leave nothing but smell.

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119 big bear cabin

Farted in my sleep
And woke myself up. This shit
Is a shit of dreams.


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118 big bear cabin

High altitude dumps
Smell worse than at sea level*.
*based on low data

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117 downstairs

Much like my desk drawer,
This is an absolute mess.
But without staples.

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116 downstairs

My butt seems to be
A fan of The Flintstones, 'cuz
Bam Bam! And Pebbles.

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115 downstairs

Open House tonight
For my son's school. To prepare,
I've opened my butt.

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114 downstairs

2 before 7.
That's some efficient shitting,
Or "effishitcy."

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113 downstairs

Color me impressed!
Nary a wee brown spot on
The toilet paper.

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112 downstairs

I feel like there's more.
But I've said that before and
Then waited for days.

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111 home

Shit before shower.
That order's preferable,
So no complaints here.

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110 downstairs

Kids' birthdays went well,
Though maybe I ate too much.
More haiku to come?

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