109 kids’ bathroom

The last day of March,
And the shit keeps on marching
Right out my asshole.

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108 downstairs

I ate at Tommy's
And honestly expected
This to be way worse.

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107 kids’ bathroom

Made it home in time
To a highly-preferred place
For me to destroy.

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106 downstairs

The Van Nuys Courthouse
Is not where I want to shit,
So I am grateful.

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105 kids’ bathroom

A "2 for Tuesday"
Is one way to make up for
Some unshitful days.

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104 kids’ bathroom

Only a half day
Of jury duty, but a
Full human doodie.

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103 kids’ bathroom

Skipped a couple days.
Makes me nostalgic for my
Pre-pandemic pace.

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102 home

Why such a hurry?
That shot right out of me and
Didn't look back. Smart.

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101 downstairs

1-0-1, just like
The freeway, especially
When there's gross traffic.

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100 kids’ bathroom

The century mark
And it's not even April!
Look out, Charmin stock.

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99 downstairs

Number 99,
More like Jay Z's problems than
The Get Smart agent.

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98 work

Tried to go at home,
But wasn't successful, so…
I get paid for this.

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97 downstairs

Already Sunday.
Could use an extra day for
This smell to diffuse.

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96 downstairs

That was disgusting.
I've seen a lot in my day,
And this was…special.

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95 downstairs

Close to a hundred,
Yet I can still be surprised.
Like, "why so messy?"

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94 downstairs

Going out tonight
For our anniversary.
Making extra room.

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93 downstairs

Poor St. Patty's Day.
It came and went yesterday
Without a green shit.

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92 downstairs

Thursday is named for
The Norse god of thunder, Thor.
I think he'd be proud.

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91 downstairs

Super packed work day
Faces super packed rectum.
Let's see what happens.

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90 kids’ bathroom

The kids are at school,
Which is great, because this is
Abusively foul.


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89 downstairs

Hurt my back somehow,
Which makes taking a shit is
Even shittier.

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88 home

Didn't have my phone
To log this shit in real time.
Heh heh, I said log.

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87 downstairs

Feels like I'm shitting
At 2pm and not 3.
Thanks, daylight savings.

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86 kids’ bathroom

Jesus Christ, again?
And like Jesus, I think it
Might come back for more.

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85 downstairs

About to shower
When my rectum asked if we
Could make a stop first.

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84 home

Since this one makes three,
Are Indian leftovers
Really the best choice?

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83 kids’ bathroom

Meeting old colleagues
For lunch and some catching up.
Dropping some weight first.

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82 kids’ bathroom

Had Indian food,
Now it's cooking in my own
Tandoori oven.

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80 kids’ bathroom

Ahoy there, matey.
This is poop #80,
And it's quite weighty.

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79 kids’ bathroom

My biceps are sore,
So I'm glad I don't use them
To take a shit. Much.

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78 kids’ bathroom

Just spent a shitload
On gas. Then had a gasload
While taking a shit.

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77 downstairs

My ass volcano
Doesn't stay dormant for long.
I've learned the hard way.

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76 downstairs

To honor my son's
Final football game today,
My butt just fumbled.

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75 home

Just a wee nugget,
But if it came from my butt,
It gets a haiku.

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74 downstairs

I thought I was done,
Then a little more came out,
So I'd wiped in vain.

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73 downstairs

Lemon pepper wings
Yielded a non-lemony,
Non-peppery shit.

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72 kids’ bathroom

I managed to wait
Until I got home from work.
That's a victory.

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71 downstairs

Good to do this now
Instead of between meetings
And near coworkers.

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70 home

The third time's the charm!
Well, only if your goal is
To wipe and see blood.

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69 kids’ bathroom

Trying to catch up
By adding some two-a-days.
This butt's down for that.

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68 kids’ bathroom

First in many days,
And my butt was sweating with
Anticipation.

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