67 kids’ bathroom

Finished my work call
And ran to the toilet. Well,
More of a waddle.

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66 kids’ bathroom

With this shit,
I'm at 1.2 per day.
That's fucking crazy.

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65 downstairs

It glided out, like
A snake charmer's tune coaxed this
Long, brown, shit from me.

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64 kids’ bathroom

Glad the kids aren't here,
So their bathroom has time to
Get unfunkified.

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63 downstairs

Maybe I should start
Recording mid-shit podcasts.
Poopcasts, if you will.

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62 downstairs

Yesterday

A shit before bed.
Could this possibly make me
A lighter sleeper?

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61 home

For Presidents' Day,
I made such a fat log that
It resembles Taft.

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60 downstairs

Stomach was rumbling,
But releasing one long shit
Calmed it down a lot.

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59 kids’ bathroom

Two shits before 10.
If my math works, I'm on pace
For 90 today.

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58 downstairs

Tis better to have
Dumped and then showered than to
Dump after cleaning.

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57 home

I'm leaving soon for
Mason's soccer practice, so
I'm gonna dribble.

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56 kids’ bathroom

Valentine's Day food
Loses some of its luster
When it turns to shit.

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55 kids’ bathroom

That was a doozy,
And probably part 2 of
A shitrilogy.

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54 kids’ bathroom

Starting the day off
With a little dumpy dump.
It's so romantic.

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53 downstairs

I really want to
Make a Super Bowel joke,
But this was just…eh.

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52 downstairs

Lisa and I are
Seeing Conan O'Brien…
For me to poop on?

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51 downstairs

It's almost bedtime,
But my butthole's wide awake.
And I do mean "wide."

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51 kids’ bathroom

The smell is putrid,
But at least it looks pretty.
Just kidding; it's gross.

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50 downstairs

50, like the states!
Should I call this Nebada
Or Massivepooshits?

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49 kids’ bathroom

This nasty dump was
Brought to you by the letter
Y, as in Y God?

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48 kids’ bathroom

Three shits in a day!
In bathroom hockey, I think
That's called a buttrick.

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47 kids’ bathroom

That's two already.
This week's gonna be big, like
A Super Bowel.

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46 downstairs

I'm not positive,
But I think this resembles
Coyote droppings.

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45 downstairs

(Yesterday)

The weekend's too short,
Especially when I spend
All this time shitting.

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44 downstairs

Glad it's the weekend,
So I don't have to fit this
In between meetings.

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43 work

(Yesterday)

When one takes a shit
Just to pass the time, could we
Call that move "stalling?"

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42 downstairs

Two-Two-Twenty-Two,
And dropping deuce number two.
It's almost 2 much.

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41 downstairs

The DMB song
Called #41 is…
Not at all like this.

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40 home

Shit #40.
My butt's now over the hill.
Don't know what that means.

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39 downstairs

My dearest reader,
You should be grateful that I'm
Not describing this.

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