246 home

Sorry, two-fifty.
Unless I catch something bad,
We shan't meet this year.

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245 home

I barely made it.
Like, "How will I explain my
Shit-stained pants?" barely.

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244 work

Should I be tracking
which bathroom stall I'm using?
There's always next year.


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243 work

Had to get this out
Before a bunch of meetings.
Goal #1: check.

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242 downstairs

The nugget before
Must've been a scout, telling
These nuggets, "All clear!"

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241 downstairs

Just a wee nugget,
But like Grandpa always said,
"That counts as a shit."

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240 downstairs

The race has begun.
Is shit number two-fifty
Just a poop pipe dream?

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239 kids’ bathroom

Well that one hurt, but
You should see the other guy.
Not sure what that means.

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238 kids’ bathroom

A dump before work
Doesn't lighten my workload,
But helps my buttload.

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237 work

I sincerely hope
Nobody could hear the squeaks,
Spurts, or kablooeys.

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236 downstairs

My butt seemed afraid,
Like it didn't really want
For this to happen.

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235 downstairs

First shit since Monday.
Yes, today is Saturday.
Yes, I know that's gross.

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234 downstairs

Would Hamilton be
Unhappy to know that I
Threw away my shit?


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233 downstairs

Just to play it safe,
I added an extra flush.
Three, ah ah ah, three!

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232 downstairs

My fart yielded a
"Jesus Fucking Christ, Peter"
From my lovely wife.

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231 downstairs

Really had to go.
My butt crack was sweating in
Anticipation.

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230 downstairs

That was unpleasant
And I know there's more coming.
Happy Hanukkah.

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229 kids’ bathroom

That was a fatty,
And expected some blood, but
Only saw shit. Yay!


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228 kids’ bathroom

How does "double meat"
Turn into "four times the shit"?
Bravo, Chipotle.

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227 downstairs

Guess I wasn't done.
This one though doesn't quite have
Its shit together.

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226 downstairs

Breakfasts and lunches
Can wait a god damn second
While I squeeze this out.

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