120 home (downstairs)

Happy Friday, butt!
You put in a lot of work,
So please rest a bit.

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119 home

If loose lips sink ships,
What do loose stools do? I know:
They smell horrible.

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118 home (downstairs)

Yesterday's calzone
Turned into an open-faced
Italian sandwich.

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117 home (downstairs)

Yesterday

Well that slipped right out,
Like I'd oiled up my butthole.
(I swear I didn't.)

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116 home (downstairs)

Beer tasting last night
Was fun, but did it cause this?
I hope not. It's gross.

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115 home

Thursday 2

Guess I wasn't done.
Too bad my watch doesn't count
This as "active time."

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114 home

Thursday 1

So many meetings.
Gotta get this one out now
Or squeeze for hours.

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113 home

Glad I took a peak.
It helped me remember that
Our chili had corn.

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112 home (downstairs)

The turkey chili
Gave me lots of farts. And some
Even turned solid.

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111 home (downstairs)

Yesterday

I'm ahead of pace.
Makes sense, since 20-20
Is a shitty year.

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110 home (downstairs)

So...that greens powder
Apparently goes right through
All of me. Quickly.

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109 home (downstairs)

Am I allowed to
Blame the coronavirus
For these extra shits?

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108 home (downstairs)

I'm shitting a lot.
Well, a lot for me, I guess.
Could use some days off.

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107 home (downstairs)

It's Sunday again.
Ya know, the day God rested.
Someone tell my ass.

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106 home (downstairs)

Not sure what happened,
But my butt screwed up somehow
And I'm STILL wiping.

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105 home (downstairs)

The courtesy flush
Should've done a whole lot more.
Apologies, nose.

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104 home

Quick pre-meeting shit.
Hope the actual meeting
Isn't this painful.

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102 home (downstairs)

3 shits in 2 days.
I'm gonna blame the hot sauce,
But I hope I'm wrong.

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102 home

Yesterday 2

That was a doozy.
So much so that it took me
A day to write this.

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101 home (downstairs)

Yesterday 1

Didn't sleep too well.
Lots of gas pains and farting.
Isn't marriage grand?

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100 home

The 5th of July:
My nephew Shawn's birthday and
A post-4th shitfest.

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99 home (downstairs)

Buffalo wings plus
The 4th of July equals
Butthole fireworks.

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98 home

Diarrhea? Why?
Ate normal stuff except for
That E. coli stew.

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97 home (downstairs)

I miss Pilates
And my pre-Pilates dumps.
Curse you, quarantine!

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