47 home

Still in quarantine,
But my shit's able to go
On a water slide.

Sent from my iPhone

46 home (downstairs)

Hope that stops the farts,
'Cause they were nasty as fuck.
Well, nasty as shit.

Sent from my iPhone

45 home (downstairs)

On the 7th day,
He rested. On the toilet.
And he shat a lot.

Sent from my iPhone

44 home (downstairs)

My 3/4 birthday,
And I'm celebrating by
Shitting and wiping.

Sent from my iPhone

43 home (downstairs)

What day is today?
This lockdown's messing me up.
Oh that's right - Turdsday

Sent from my iPhone

42 home (kids’ bathroom)

Want to be shitty
At both work and parenting?
Try quarantining!

Sent from my iPhone

41 home (downstairs)

My butt exploded.
Caught me off guard, so the kids
Might've heard me scream.

Sent from my iPhone

40 home

I'm working from home,
And so are my intestines.
It's like we planned it.

Sent from my iPhone

39 home (downstairs)

Even my shit is
Practicing its version of
Social distancing.

Sent from my iPhone

38 home (downstairs)

Well well, Chipotle.
You braved my intestines, but
Now you are vanquished.

Sent from my iPhone

37 home (downstairs)

Carly's still asleep,
But my ass is wide awake.
(Emphasis on "wide")

Sent from my iPhone

36 home

It just keeps coming,
Like tickets after hitting
An arcade jackpot.

Sent from my iPhone

35 home

Just for the record,
Buffalo cauliflower
Is gross coming out.

Sent from my iPhone

34 home (downstairs)

It's Super Tuesday,
Which rhymes with Super PoosDay.
I'm doing my part.

Sent from my iPhone

33 home (downstairs)

Yesterday

Gas pains morphed into
Mountains of shit. Now the pain
Is just in my nose.

Sent from my iPhone