Saturday, August 31, 2019

122 home (kids’ bathroom)

Felt this one last night
But had to wait until now.
Can't rush perfection.

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Wednesday, August 28, 2019

121 home (downstairs)

Judging by the blood,
It's clear that turd was too wide
For my poor anus.

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Tuesday, August 27, 2019

120 home

Monday

Busy day at work,
So glad I'm getting this out
Before all that shit.

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Monday, August 26, 2019

119 home

Friday

Back home from Utah
And pooping out its cuisine.
It traveled for free.

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Wednesday, August 21, 2019

118 SLC hotel

Pre-Romney speech shit.
Think it's a bad omen that
I clogged the toilet?


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Sunday, August 18, 2019

117 big bear cabin

That shit kept going,
Clear out of the water and
Almost to the seat.

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Saturday, August 17, 2019

116 Big Bear cabin

Horseback riding then
Alpine slide riding equals
Feces jostled free.

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Tuesday, August 13, 2019

115 home

The fuck did I eat?
Jesus. Whatever it was,
It fucking hates me.

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Saturday, August 10, 2019

114 home (downstairs)

The white toilet's for
Immediate unloading
Only. And farting.


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Friday, August 9, 2019

113 Ojai hotel

Ojai Valley Inn?
More like Ojai Valley Out,
Am I right, fellas?

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Monday, August 5, 2019

112 home (downstairs)

More burgers and dogs.
You'd think I'd remember that
It turns into...this.

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111 home (kids’ bathroom)

Yesterday

This weekend's theme is
Pool Party. The backyard kind,
And the toilet one.

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Friday, August 2, 2019

110 home (kids’ bathroom)

To describe this shit,
"Wider than my anus" is
Pretty accurate.

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