110 home

I give equal time
To all 3 states of matter,
Which isn't ideal.

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109 Vegas - Planet Hollywood casino

Peeing out the butt
While someone three stalls over
Pukes loudly. Vegas!

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108 Vegas - Park MGM casino floor

Just lost some money,
And now I'm losing some weight.
But gaining a smell.

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107 home

Getting blood work done,
So I'm fasting this morning.
And fast-pooping too.

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106 home

There is zero doubt
That this was yesterday's lunch.
Why? Sesame seeds.

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105 home (downstairs)

Yikes, a three-flusher.
And yet the smell still lingers.
That's powerful shit.

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104 home (downstairs)

Oh hi, Ojai food.
It's good to see you again.
Welcome to L.A.

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103 home

Look out everyone!
Run for your lives! The stool is
Loose! The stool is loose!

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102 home

Those probiotics
Don't fuck around. My asshole
Can attest to that.

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101 home (downstairs)

I courtesy-flushed
For just my own well-being.
Be kind to yourself.

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100 home

We hit 100!
I'd like to thank my fans and
My Mexican food.

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99 work (downstairs)

Ate a macaroon,
Then shit out a cannoli.
Stomach magic, yo.

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98 home

Filet mignon dumps
Are tender, well-marbled, and...
Have a pink center?

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97 home

The 5th of July
Should be it's own holiday.
With fireworks too.

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96 home

Even though I'm done,
I still have some stomach pains,
So I'll be back soon.

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95 home

The hits keep coming!
Oh wait - I didn't mean "hits."
Shits. Sorry 'bout that.

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