80 home

I can't pinpoint why,
But "Thursday Bloody Thursday"
Doesn't sound as good.

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79 home

I just rocked so much
That I'm pretty sure I earned
Some kind of Grammy.

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78 home

Had to strain a bit,
But I came out a winner
In the end. (Get it?!?!?!)

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77 home

There's the rest of it.
At least I think that's the rest.
I never can tell.

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76 home

It's called "Charlie Brown"
Because I just said, "Good grief."
(And because it's brown.)

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75 home

Thankfully, my lunch
(Ground beef and tomato soup)
Congealed and turned brown.

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74 work

I ate steak tacos
But shat out enchiladas.
I know, I'm proud too.

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73 home (downstairs)

So much liquid shit.
I kept trying to find the
Spigot to turn off.

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72 Los Olivos garage/pool bathroom

Guess I wasn't done.
I just shed a few more pounds
Before driving home.

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71 Los Olivos garage/pool bathroom

I hear frogs croaking.
Seriously. It's not just
The sound of my butt.

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69 home

My stomach's not right.
The way it's acting is like
It drank too much beer.

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68 home (downstairs)

Happy Mother's Day
To me. I just gave birth to
3.5 children.

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67 home

Gonna play soccer,
So first I'm taking a shit
In the toilet BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWLLLLLLL!!!!!!

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66 home

My farts were potent,
But my shit isn't that bad.
Little victories.

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65 home (downstairs)

That new hot salsa
Went right through me, leaving a
Searing, spicy trail.

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64 home

It's Seis de Mayo,
And of course I feel like a
Human piñata.

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63 home (kids’ bathroom)

It's good to be home.
And it's also good to shed
Seven pounds of shit.

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62 Memphis (airport)

My flight is delayed
But this shit just wouldn't wait.
Thanks, Rendezvous Ribs!

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61 Memphis (hotel)

So much fried chicken
That there's no way this is it.
I'm sure I'll be back.

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