Sunday, April 29, 2018

60 home (downstairs)

O buffalo wings!
Your taste lures me in, but you
Burn me in the end.


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Thursday, April 26, 2018

59 home (kids’ bathroom)

Amber's en route to
LAX, while my rectum
Fully reLAXes.

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Tuesday, April 24, 2018

58 home (downstairs)

Wait - thad Dodger Dog
Didn't have any chili
When I ate it. Weird.

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Sunday, April 22, 2018

57 home (downstairs)

Stopped making breakfast
- children are going hungry -
Because of this dump.

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Friday, April 20, 2018

56 SLC hotel

Had Ruth's Chris last night,
So this shit is expensive,
But it smells the same.

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Wednesday, April 18, 2018

55 SLC hotel

Barely made it here.
The check-in process was long.
Thank god my key worked.

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Tuesday, April 17, 2018

54 work

Each time I unclench,
Some more liquid shit comes out.
Guess I live here now.

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Monday, April 16, 2018

53 home

I went from drizzle
To a full on thunderstorm
In five seconds flat.

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Friday, April 13, 2018

52 home

Well now I feel gross,
But I guess that's what you get
When you shit like this.

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Sunday, April 8, 2018

51 home

You'll think I'm lying,
But that fart took ten seconds.
I wish I'd taped it.

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50 home

My eyes are closing
Despite my ass opening.
Silly body holes.

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Tuesday, April 3, 2018

49 home

The kids had birthdays,
And I had some shitty food.
Guess which led me here.

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