Played poker last night,
And now my shit is poking
Right out me asshole.
Sent from my iPhone
Saturday, March 31, 2018
Thursday, March 29, 2018
Tuesday, March 27, 2018
46 home
Sometimes I wish that
I could unhinge my asshole.
I mean, it would help.
Sent from my iPhone
I could unhinge my asshole.
I mean, it would help.
Sent from my iPhone
Monday, March 26, 2018
45 home
My butt was like, "Yo,
I gots to tell you something."
But then he threw up.
Sent from my iPhone
I gots to tell you something."
But then he threw up.
Sent from my iPhone
Saturday, March 24, 2018
Friday, March 23, 2018
Thursday, March 22, 2018
42 home (downstairs)
Whew! I just shat out
Some "life, the universe, and
Everything" I ate.
Sent from my iPhone
Some "life, the universe, and
Everything" I ate.
Sent from my iPhone
Tuesday, March 20, 2018
41 work
I was sitting down
While watching stand-up. I'm the
Grand Old Dook of York.
Sent from my iPhone
While watching stand-up. I'm the
Grand Old Dook of York.
Sent from my iPhone
Saturday, March 17, 2018
40 home (downstairs)
Mason's baseball game
Is coming up, but my ass
Just had a foul out.
Sent from my iPhone
Is coming up, but my ass
Just had a foul out.
Sent from my iPhone
Friday, March 16, 2018
39 home
Still got more brewing,
But this should suffice for now.
Give dat ass a break.
Sent from my iPhone
But this should suffice for now.
Give dat ass a break.
Sent from my iPhone
Wednesday, March 14, 2018
Tuesday, March 13, 2018
37 home
Those two giant logs
Felt like they weighted five pounds each.
Who needs a diet?
Sent from my iPhone
Felt like they weighted five pounds each.
Who needs a diet?
Sent from my iPhone
Sunday, March 11, 2018
37 home (downstairs)
March Madness brackets
And intestinal madness:
What a fitting pair!
Sent from my iPhone
And intestinal madness:
What a fitting pair!
Sent from my iPhone
Wednesday, March 7, 2018
36 home (kids’ bathroom)
Gingerly shitting
With a band-aid on my balls.
I feel really old.
Sent from my iPhone
With a band-aid on my balls.
I feel really old.
Sent from my iPhone
Tuesday, March 6, 2018
34 work (from yesterday)
My vasectomy
Is tomorrow. That is all.
Nothing witty here.
Sent from my iPhone
Is tomorrow. That is all.
Nothing witty here.
Sent from my iPhone
Thursday, March 1, 2018
33 work (downstairs)
Took the bigger stall,
And my shit stink expanded
To fill up the space.
Sent from my iPhone
And my shit stink expanded
To fill up the space.
Sent from my iPhone
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