139

Since it's Yom Kippur,
I should apologize to
My toilet for this.

Sent from my iPhone

138

Back from the airport.
My first stop is the toilet.
Priorities, yo.

Sent from my iPhone

137

I'm airport shitting.
The plane will now be hauling
Seven fewer pounds.

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136

A giant poo-tah
Before I leave for Utah.
Crap, what else...Hoo rah?

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135

Had bad stomach pains,
But after that shit, I have
So-so stomach pains.

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134

I must have eaten
Something really sad because
My butt is sobbing.

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133

The best adjective
To describe this shit would be
"Molten." Yeah, nailed it.

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132

If that was brisket,
Something bad happened to it.
L'shana tova!

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131

Taco Bell salsa
Tastes so fucking awesome that
I'm ok with this.


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130

My butt's favorite song?
"Here I Go Again." This time
It's sung by Brownsnake.

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129

It's September 12th,
And...you know what? I'm gonna
Just stop it right there.

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128

Thank you, boneless wings.
Mostly for being boneless.
That would've been bad.

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127

A shit before bed.
My asshole wanted to be
Tucked in or something.

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126

I'm shitting again?
Labor Day must be the best
Laxative on Earth.

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125

I absolutely
Need to mix in a salad.
This is a shit show.

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124

Was it the hot dogs
Or the baked beans that caused this?
Nope - the Lava Flows.

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123

I sat for so long
My legs fell asleep. Good thing
I have smelling "salts."

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