Saturday, April 29, 2017

60

The gelato was
Smooth and creamy, yet somehow
This shit...well, it's not.

Sent from my iPhone

Friday, April 28, 2017

59

Starting a call soon
Where I might yell at someone.
Farts lighten the mood.

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Wednesday, April 26, 2017

58

That's weird. The salsa
Wasn't spicy for my mouth,
But my ass thought so.

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57

I think it's now time
To say "sayonara" to
The food from my trip.

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Saturday, April 22, 2017

56

Got to LAX
And immediately shat.
How's that for "customs"?

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Friday, April 21, 2017

55

Shitting right after
A super expensive meal
Feels downright wasteful.

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54

Forgot to write this,
But I can still smell that shit
As if it were here.

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Wednesday, April 19, 2017

53

I shat in Japan,
Then water shot up my ass.
What a country, right?

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Monday, April 17, 2017

52

5 days in Japan
After taking this shit, which
Stings like wasabi.


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Friday, April 14, 2017

51

Big, pre-bedtime shit.
Dropping a load off before
Taking a load off.

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Thursday, April 13, 2017

50

They call it Thai food,
But my ass and my nose are
Definite losers.

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Monday, April 10, 2017

49

Spring Break starts today.
In keeping with this theme, I'm
Breaking blood vessels.

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Saturday, April 8, 2017

48

I'm shitting again?
It's like I don't even know
Myself anymore.

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47

Passover's tonight.
That's fitting, since this smells like
The Angel of Death.

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Friday, April 7, 2017

46

Stomach's killing me,
And I'm a shitting machine.
I'm just stating facts.

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Wednesday, April 5, 2017

45

If I clench right now,
Will that little piece of shit
Go out or back in?

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Monday, April 3, 2017

44

Same day, but more shit.
Something ain't right, and my hole
Needs a little break.

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43

I'm not proud of this,
But I'm almost 40, and
I nearly sharted.

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Saturday, April 1, 2017

42

This shit is pleasant,
Well-formed, sweet-smelling, bloodless,
And fun. April Fool's!

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