#203

Crapping with the elite up in Montecito
Is the same as with folks in San Bernardino.

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KK105

The tiny nuggets still account for a shit that's valid.
They hurt coming out, so time to mix in a salad.

KK104

Opening a window and flushing often,
Should make the intense smell soften.

#202

At the office to finish paperwork.
In the bathroom, asshole gone berserk.


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Aug 30

That came on quickly - had to run,
And then I shit a metric ton.

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#200 & 201

This morning I pushed out a sausage link.
Now the shape less important than the stink.


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#199

No stress no strain
Thank god no pain.


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Aug 28

What instrument sounds like my ass?
A trumpet (or some kind of brass).

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#198

Gushy and smelly from my tushy.
All it took was one little pushy.

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KK103

It's 4am. They got a chance to meet.
My half-asleep ass and a cold toilet seat.

#197

On the phone doing little dance.
Trying not to make in my pants.

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Aug 25

How strange; I honestly don't know
Whence came this chocolate pizza dough.

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KK102

Now I'm back in an airport bathroom stall.
Cleaner than the beach, more crowded than the mall.

#'s 195&196

One explosion at 5am and another at 8.
Gut pain and a need to release: something that I ate.

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Aug 24

Something from my weekend food
Turned my shit to bubbling crude.

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#194

Three hours ago I had to make.
It took till now for it to take.

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From your mother

Constipation for what it's worth
Is tantamount to giving birth.

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KK101

I woke up to shit. I just couldn't sleep.
The hotel toilet paper was thin, rough, and cheap.

#193

Sometimes it comes in waves for me.
This time more like a sunami.

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Aug 20

The source of all that stomach pain
Went tagging on my toilet drain.

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#192

intermittent farts between each clump.

Made for an interesting and smelly dump.

--

Rooftoppers, Inc.

Personal and Professional Integrity since 1983

KK100

Here's a comment that deserves to be blogged -

That large bowl of chili got me unclogged!

188,189,190,191

Three shits yesterday and one today.
My colon's as clean as a whistle: hooray!

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Aug 18

The kids' first day of kindergarten;
My butt is doing more than fartin'.

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KK99

I've been waiting days to sit and squeeze.
A full body effort - back, legs and knees.

Aug 17

Oh wow, I had to hold my breath.
I'm pretty sure that smelled like death.

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#187

Thought this trip would be a flop.
Til I heard the welcomed plop.

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KK98

A 14-hour work day has me in mental disarray. 
I just made our bathroom smell of serious foul play. 

#186

It's hard to believe it when I hear her say,
(4 hours later) I can still smell the spray.

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#185

Pain in my gut is no fun for sure.
What it yields is just crap de jour.

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Aug 13

I ate a lot of high-end sushi,
Now my poo poo is all mooshy.

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#184

My mission this morning without a doubt.
Was to get all this bad shit out.

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#183

It hurt when I pushed but push I did.
What came out looked like a baby squid.

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KK97

A nice cold beer to end the day,
Loosened my sphincter. (I'd have to say)

Aug 11

That Mexican place was a hole-in-the-wall,
And the hole in my butt went crazy, y'all.

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Aug 10

That Chinese food had a healthy dose
Of MSG (for "Me So Gross").

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#182

Having the patience to just let it brew.
It an attribute I wanted passed on to you.

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KK96

I worked hard for that shit. They might've been stuck.
No more eating lunches off of that food truck.

Aug 7

This shit was nothing short of troubling,
I'm most concerned about the bubbling.

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#181

Waited for the pressure to be intense.
Guaranteed the volume would be immense.

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#180

A fart and a push. A fart and a push.
Helped me get all the shit from my tush.

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KK95

I not often surprised at what comes out of my crack,
but these antibiotics made my shits turn black.

Aug 5

A log so big, I had to groan.
I think it might've had a bone.

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#179

Office crap that was quickly brewing.
Proud of my ass, it knew what it was doing.

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#178

Awoke at midnight needing to dump.
I expelled way more than a lump.

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KK94

Went to the can to make a pischie, 

Instead made a poopie - soft & squishy.

#177

Monday morning doodie at the office.

4 brown ones slipped out of the orifice.

--

Rooftoppers, Inc.

Personal and Professional Integrity since 1983

#176

Pains in my gut made me sit.
It still hurts a little bit.

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#175

Into the bathroom I boldly strode.
Only to unleash the mother lode.

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#174

Had to push and gently strain.
flushing twice to clear the stain.

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Aug 2

Such violent shit from eating Del Taco,
The splashes almost got my cocko.

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#173

Silent farts to clear the path.
What came next....you do the math.

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KK93

Shitting while drunk is no treat.
Balancing while straining is no small feat.