Sunday, May 31, 2015

#111

Nothing special for me to share
Just something pungent into the afternoon air.


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Give it a number? 110

Not sure whether to count or not.
Hardly more than an exclamation mark and dot.

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Saturday, May 30, 2015

#109

It couldn't be the party food
That made my ass change its mood.
Went from happy to sad and smelly.
All because of a really foul belly.

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#108

The air is crisp and new
Birds chirping a happy tune
Flowers bloom to greet a new June
The porcelain streaked and stained with doo.



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May 30

Making something thick and hearty
Before my niece's birthday party.

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Friday, May 29, 2015

KK65

Monstrous, green and came out in bulk.
Quite honestly, resembled The Incredible Hulk.

May 29

That's really strange; I could've sworn
I chewed while eating last night's corn.

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#106

Slept all night hoping not to explode
5 a.m. came and dropped a nice load.

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Thursday, May 28, 2015

#104. Yucky poo

Upset stomach from some spicy pasta.
Trying to calm it with a piece of Matzos .

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#104

Gushing, spewing, shooting and plopping.
All this led to my weight dropping.

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May 28

My butt has had an active month,
With shits so foul that this won't rhyme.

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#103 movie theater

Out popped a milk dud and a junior mint creature.
Hope this is a double feature.

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Tuesday, May 26, 2015

#102 Paul

It really snuck up on me
I released it with glee
Now it's floating free.


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May 26

Thanks to the extra thick burger patties,
I'm straining to squeeze out a couple of fatties.

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Paul #101

I can't believe I crap so much
I must have the feces touch.

--
Rooftoppers, Inc.
Personal and Professional Integrity since 1983

Monday, May 25, 2015

Letting nature take its course

The bbq food played a part.
In making this trip more than a fart.

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May 25

Doing my rectum some serious harm
Before we drive over to Underwood Farm.

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Sunday, May 24, 2015

KK64

That 1lb. burger sat in my belly like a pound of lead.
"What a huge piece of meat" (That's what she said)

KK63

That relaxing poop slid out with ease,
It's smell still required long sprays of Fabreze.

Saturday, May 23, 2015

How true

4 1/2 pounds and long brown stain.
Something to lose and something to gain.

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Friday, May 22, 2015

For all three

Crapping and too lazy to write
Two during the day and one tonight.

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May 22

My ears perked up and I said, "What?!?!?
That sounds like pee, but from my butt!"

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May 22

Brick Tamland once pooped out a hammer,
But Peter Klein's a real log jammer.

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Thursday, May 21, 2015

May 21

For lunch I had a yummy gyro,
(Something clever) Robert DeNiro.

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KK62

That smelled horrendous. I have to say...
That vile shit looked like watered-down clay.

Monday, May 18, 2015

KK61

The chicken cordon bleu didn't feel good in my gut.
That chicken cordon blew right out of my butt.

May 18

Every time I rocked, I farted.
Not sure why I ever started.

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Sunday, May 17, 2015

Made it home

Not wanting to smell up Peters abode.
Straight to the bathroom to severely off-load.


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It's only natural

I don't need to plan or be urged
When the crap has to be purged.



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Saturday, May 16, 2015

Back to basics

Returning home is lots of fun
Get a chance to see my hun.
Nice thoughts on the pot while I relax and sit.
All ruined by the nasty smell of shit.

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KK60

Up with cramps at 5am. I'm dying...
Only crapped a nugget. Hardly worth trying.

Friday, May 15, 2015

Golf

In the "Springs" hitting the ball
Two double bogies were my downfall.
Today should be better all in all.
I crapped them out in the downstairs stall.

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Thursday, May 14, 2015

May 14

This shit is something quite uncommon;
Thanks for nothing, spicy ramen.

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May 14

The shit storm raged while still inside,
Which made the output liquified.

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KK59

Very colorful. Greens, yellows, and browns.
I filled up the bowl and lost 2 pounds.

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Quantifying

More than a drop in the bucket.

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May 12

Got interrupted by my daughter,
Then went back to the muddy water.

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Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Holding back

Waited.
Keeping it under control.
Feeling bad for the toilet bowl.



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Monday, May 11, 2015

May 11

Taking my dog to obedience training,
Right after I finish my rocking and straining.

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At it again

Smaller, firmer and fine
more typical for a Klein.

--
Rooftoppers, Inc.
Personal and Professional Integrity since 1983

The blob

Just a mushy ugly sight
Hard to wipe
Try as I might

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Sunday, May 10, 2015

KK58

After the shits stopped, I felt satisfaction.
Then I craved a beer. (Didn't expect that reaction)

Took a break

Didn't report the last ten
Busy now and then
Today was a hard one
It was the matzoh - I ate some



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Friday, May 8, 2015

KK57

My wife helped my son study Hebrew vowels,
While I sat on the toilet exiting bowels.

May 8

Been here so long, my butt's asleep.
Thank god this toilet bowl is deep.

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Wednesday, May 6, 2015

May 6

Estoy haciendo un número dos.
Un poquito smelly y mucho gross.

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Tuesday, May 5, 2015

KK56

That horrible smell I crapped out today,
No ceiling fan could blow away. 

Monday, May 4, 2015

Monday Monday

It didn't start off with a bang
Just a long brown thang.

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Sunday, May 3, 2015

A religious experience

Amazingly it all seemed to fit
All I can say is Holy Shit!

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Gods plan

Peristalsis works for me
Pooping happens naturally

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Saturday, May 2, 2015

KK55

What my anus just created,
Also left it dilapidated.

May 2

My poor little asshole is getting sore;
I don't want to do this anymore.

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Friday, May 1, 2015

Crapping machine

Don't no where it comes from
I hardly are a crumb.

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Harmony

Big, long, solid consistency
That God for elasticity

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