Apr 30

If the temperature were any hotter,
My balls would dip into the water.

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Apr 30

I hope that's it; I'm feeling woozy.
This doodie doing is a doozie.

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KK54

To my ass, the poo kept stickin'.
Too much rice and BBQ chicken.

Wow

Two flushes was not enough
To clean away this brown stuff.

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Apr 29

This post-Korean shitting hurts.
It's like there's charcoal in the squirts.

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Apr 29

All that Korean barbecue
Went through me in an hour. Ew.

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Strange

A brown cigar-shape object
Seemed to float across the water
I know what it wasn't
It wasn't an otter.

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Apr 28

Another sticky, stinky type;
I could've used a baby wipe.

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Morning evacuation

Slip sliding away
Not even pushing today.

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KK53

The shit was constant. It just wouldn't stop.
Splash, splatter, dump, dump, splatter, splash, plop.

My duty

It's my doodie to write about shit.
Doing that as I sit to wit.

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Apr 26

This shit is liquid, brown, and hot,
Like I'm a human coffee pot.

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Of course

When your colon is loaded it's understood
That taking a dump is mighty good.

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Apr 24

Despite the thorough, extra wipes,
My underwear is sporting stripes.

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2nd Act

Not as explosive as the first
Nothing hurt and nothing burst.

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A lull in the action

Yesterday I went without
Made up for this morning without a doubt.

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KK52

A Poop Storm was brewing on the horizon.
(And I just typed that from my Verizon)

KK51

My pants were splitting at the seams.
That's why I avoid all leafy greens!

Overland

Round two
Should be no surprise to you


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Losing

A half pound had departed me
On a journey to the sea



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Apr 21

Shitting at an early hour,
Glad I waited for my shower.

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Still upset

Gurgling with pressure distinct
Stinks too much to thinkt

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3:33 am

Foul gut awakened me
Blasted forth deliriously

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Apr 19

I swear I only ate a waffle,
Yet this shit smells fucking awful.

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Consistency

Hard like a rock? No way.
Soft like a over ripe banana? I must say nay.
Just perfect in every way.




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KK50

I emptied it all into a giant heap.
But I sat too long and both legs fell asleep.

Before the ride

About to bike it a few miles
Purging was met with an upside down smile.

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Apr 17

Don't get me wrong, this shit smells bad,
But better than the gas I had.

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This way out

When I went potty
The crap exited my body

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Satisfaction

Big crap to start the day
Satisfaction all the way
Oh my!

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KK49

That hurt coming out. Jagged like a rock.
Not surprisingly, it now hurts when I walk.

Afternoon

Maybe not the last today
Much to my colons dismay.

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At it again

Being regular is really neat
I've become friends with the toilet seat


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Apr 15

The kids are getting set for school
While I drop others at the pool.

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A sign

Something long and brown was born
Complete with a slight touch of corn.

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At work

Had to work a little bit
To get it going and make it fit
But when it left and made a plop
I knew that was it and had to stop.

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Apr 13

Food breaks down in many ways,
Except, I guess, for bolognese.

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KK48

It was one of the nastiest shits I've seen.
Looked like applesauce, smelled like kerosene.

Two for the money

Twice in the a.m. today
Once with gusto
Once just o.k.

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KK47

That was a satisfying shit. Pain-free.
It just effortlessly rolled out. Strain-free.

Apr 10

I'm pretty sure my ass just pissed.
That Thai place got crossed off my list.

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Apr 10

A runny, messy, stinky poo.
Thanks for nothing, pad see ew.

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Apr 10

This magic shit came out in a hurry,
What started as yellow became brown curry.

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Easy exit

Hardly knew it
When the shit passed through it

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KK46

The burger seemed tasty, from how it looked.
Next time, I won't eat meat that isn't fully cooked.

KK45

Off the freeway to empty out the poopmaker.
Surprisingly, nice toilets are in the city of Baker.

That's life

Contrary to popular belief
A big crap doesn't guarantee relief.

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Apr 7

My fart had a strange and warbly tone,
Like a goose getting fucked by a trombone.


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Warm but not fuzzy

Matzo balls, brisket and wine
Yield a crap fit for a Klein

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Sunday

Waited until the last minute
'Til it was begging to come out
And that it did without a doubt


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KK44

Just as my last piece of crap falls,
I look up to notice that I've steamed up the walls.

Apr 4

In honor of it being Passover today,
May my smell scare the Angel of Death away.

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Back at it

I've been woefully remiss
Not writing about this
But since I have a minute
It's all about the toilet and what's in it

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Apr 1

A bad reaction to Ethiopian food;
I think I shat out a fallopian tube.

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