Mar 31

Who had putrid, sticky stools?
Not me. (Early April Fools!)

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Satisfying

The time was ripe
The shit slipped down the pipe
It landed with a plop
A little piece of corn atop


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KK43

5 times in 3 days! How can this be?
What did I eat that is doing this to me?!

KK42

I'm not proud of this. It sure ain't great.
This week I've been shitting at a Papa Paul rate.

KK41

It's not a mini generator or a fastball either.

It was my crap that I called a big, nasty heater.

Mar 29

Before my kids' 5th birthday party,
I'm making something thick and hearty.

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KK40

So much shitting. It didn't smell nice.
A mountain of mud. I had to flush thrice.

KK39

Just finished 3 days of camping.
Heading home gassy and cramping.

Pasadena

Before the Pygmalion play
I crapped and crapped away
After the Pygmalion play
Nothing changed I'm sorry to say

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Unloading

Back from a tear off in culver city.
Compared to my crap
That job was pretty,


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Burning

I'm in to spicy food and stuff
I just can't seem to get enough
It's something causes me distress
Cause my ass burns and is a real mess.


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Mar 27

I'd like to thank that healthy juice
For cooking up this fruity deuce.

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At the golf course

Used the women's bathroom on hole #9
Best shot of the day, came out just fine.

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Mar 26

Note to self: that 9-seed bread
Was tasty, but my anus bled.

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KK38

That shit was unexpected with no hesitation.
Had to pull off the road to find a gas station.

Mar 25

After all that stomach hurting,
This little pebbles are disconcerting.

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With gusto

Red meat for dinner
Made me thinner

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Bad choices

Crap doesn't come in a neat little packet.
Sometimes it arrives with a good deal of racket,
Luckily this one smelled better than my bracket!

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Tuna

The tuna sandwich I ate last night
Swam through my system at the speed of light
I could tell my bowels were in for a fight
And what came out was a horrible sight.

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Mar 23

Nasty, vile, gross, and heinous:
Words that all describe my anus.

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KK37

Before leading a new orientation class,
A BBQ chicken pizza was dumped from my ass.

Missing craps

2 on Saturday
2 on Sunday
1 today
Too busy to type I say.

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KK36

The crap kept on coming. It wouldn't stop.
I bet this odor makes our property value drop.

No let up

Twice before and twice today.
Didn't post didn't know what to say
But sitting here with the Levine's
I realized my intestines were clean.



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Mar 22

Cajun food then Mexican
Made my sphincter flex again.

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Mar 20

Something foul and rather mushy
Oozed like lava from my tushy.

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KK35

That powerful bowel destruction,
Had absolutely no obstruction.

2 so far

Two craps today and no poem
I'll make it up cause I owe em

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Mar 18

St. Patty's Day and then Ruth's Chris
Make green and pricy shit and piss.

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KK34

​I sat down on the toilet. Man, I was all set.

Then SPLASH in the water...now my ass is all wet!

By weight

My toilet received
A gift indeed
A sloppy joe without the bun
It weighed in at less than a ton.

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Unsure

Liquid, solid and gas.
Shooting out of my ass.
How did this come to pass?
Think I'll eat some grass.



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Mar 16

More stinging Utah shit? Just great.
No wonder it's the Beehive State.

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Mar 16

A nasty shit in Salt Lake City.
Unlike the mountains, this ain't pretty.

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A nice start

Batting a thousand to start the week.
Leaning to the side to take a peek.
Caught a whiff that stuck so deep
Don't know if I'll ever speak (again).


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KK33

Spicy chicken sandwiches sure taste nice.
Unfortunately, they also burn twice.

Mar 15

That hurt and made my anus bleed.
"Beware the ides of March" indeed.

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Then she asked

Gas pains were just the start
Then she asked, did you fart?
It was now time to do my part
For me crapping has become an art.

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West LA

Afternoon evacuation
No need for meditation
Or medication.

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Mar 13

This massive stink was caused by Chipotle;
It's strong enough to be smelled remotlay.

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Friday a.m.

It seems so easy just to sit
And make a large deposit


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Morning

The rumbles had begun and I knew full well
That the push would be followed by smell.

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KK32

Boarded my flight. I'm ready to unwind.
An airport bathroom stench - I've left behind. 

Not worth the wait

Nothing yesterday amazing as that may sound
Today was minimal and less than half a pound.

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KK31

That crap was so impressive (while in Oklahoma)
That it deserved a graduation or at least a diploma.

Mar 10

At my new job with my first dumping session.
I hope that my stink leaves a lasting impression.

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Wow

Ditto on the previous post
I'd better eat some toast.

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Wow

The pills I took as a stool softener
Should be taken less oftener.

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Stressful Monday

Employee issues to the max
Some work hard some are lax
Didn't take long to get the facts
Even my crap left telltale tracks.

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Mar 9

Like a boxer cutting weight before a fight,
Pre-new-job shitting just feels right.


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KK30

While shitting I thought of my brother.
We like to share rhymes with each other.

Naturally

Sitting on the throne seems fitting
When the plan at hand is shitting

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Mar 8

One little smelly piece of shit?
I'm sorry, but that can't be it.


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Weight reduction

Losing the pounds while not limiting my intake
Allows me to eat things one might think a mistake.
But discharging in bulk is a cure for Gods sake
Even when consuming a huge piece of cake.

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I'm making

Got home early to sit and make
Only a moment did it actually take
It came out like a shot
Well....that's all I've got.


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Mar 5

I'm pretty sure that protein shake
Made something in my rectum break.

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KK29

It shot right out. Smelly and warm.
Yes, in a totally liquid form.

I have to fess up

I have to admit it
I'm not lying a bit
Ideally plopped out
another shit!

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Crapping machine

I did it with ease
Hardly a squeeze
Maybe one more tonight cause I'm not a tease.

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Overland

Sitting on the porcelain throne
Looking for the drop zone.
Spotted it and aimed with care
Hit the with bullseye with room to spare.



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Mar 4

Thanks to that new protein powder,
I just created poo poo chowder.

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Heading home

Stopped at "The Gate" for work and the view.
Saw it all and the roofing crew too
Bowels in an uproar so I had to spew.

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KK28

I fell asleep fast and started snoring.
Awoken by diarrhea at 2 in the morning.

On overland

Crapping once more
This time was not a chore
Lost a pound or more!

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Monday

Poop group poop
Looked like brown matzo ball soup

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KK27

Today's weather forecast called for rain.
My toilet bowl's forecast called for stain.

Giddy Up

It was worth the wait-of course
To see the floating brown Sea Horse.

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