KK152

That poop came out from deep inside.
I'm surprised my anus opened that wide.

Dec 29

I just shat out something unholy,
Like brown and rancid guacamole.

Sent from my iPhone

KK151

Today my wonderful father turns a young 68.

And I just emptied my colon, now ain't that great?​

KK150

Today I was named Fantasy Football champ.
But I'm on the shitter with a bad stomach cramp.

Dec 27

It's my half-birthday, and I call dibs
On shitting out last night's smoked ribs.

Sent from my iPhone

Dec 25

Merry Christmas, everybody.
Here's my gift: it's Smelly Putty.

Sent from my iPhone

KK149

I felt the pressure, so I popped a squat.
Then out it came. Mushy

​but

 hot.

276

I've fallen behind in my count of dumps.
Today was a big one, came out in clumps.



Sent from my iPhone

KK148

It's hard to believe that year is winding down. 

The odor in this stall could make an elf even frown. 

Dec 21

My butt is playing fast and loose,
And squeezing out a double deuce.

Sent from my iPhone

Dec 21

A magic meal from El Coyote:
This shit is dense but also floaty.


Sent from my iPhone

KK147

Ah yes, a very satisfying mountain of poop.
A foul-smelling pile of gelatinous goop.

Dec 19

Partied at a castle
Now I'm tearing up my asstle.

Sent from my iPhone

270-275

Not thinking clearly while on the pot.
Busy at work and the shit won't stop.

Sent from my iPhone

KK146

Is it Friday yet? Oh yes, it is!

I'll start this day off with making a shiz.

KK145

Ouch that hurt. I cannot lie. 
It was threaded or woven, like matzo brei. 

Dec 14

My butt is thinking, "Peter, please
Stop it with that nacho cheese!"

Sent from my iPhone

KK144

My stomach hurt. I knew I had the shits.
But there was no huge log. Only tiny bits.

Dec 12

While getting ready for Hanukkah,
My farts sound like electronica.

Sent from my iPhone

KK143

Whether it's flammable or inflammable, I really don't know.

But I had so much gas that the whole building could blow.

KK142

I felt guilty from all of the food I ate,
But one big dump and I lost all the weight.

255-269

I've crapped 14 times since my head first fall.
When the drugs wore off I gave it my all.

Sent from my iPhone

Dec 8

I went, but still have stomach pains.
Can't wait to shit out the remains.

Sent from my iPhone

Dec 7

This output has it in for me,
Today shall live in infamy.

Sent from my iPhone

KK141

In the middle of nowhere. Gas station stop.
Sat my ass down and plop, plop, plop.

KK140

In Berkeley for Ethan's special day,
But my shit was no mitzvah. Nope, no way.

Dec 4

The stuff I squirted from inside
Smelled pretty good. Oh wait, I lied.

Sent from my iPhone

Dec 3

I've taken way more shits this year,
With lots to come this month, I fear.

Sent from my iPhone

KK139

Man, that chicken parm.
Might have done my rectum harm.

#254

I thought about Black Friday as I sat down.
Nothing black here, just a lovely shade of brown.

Sent from my iPhone

Nov 30

My last poop of November:
A splat to remember.

Sent from my iPhone

Nov 29

Something about those giant dumps
Gave my upper thighs goose bumps.

Sent from my iPhone

KK137

I was feeling full, gassy and bloated.
Then I shit a turd that surprisingly floated.

KK136

Gobble gobble. An enormous turkey dinner.
Giving it all back has made me thinner.

Nov 26

With all this extra room, I might
Eat everything I see tonight.

Sent from my iPhone

#253

Crapping like it's going out of style.
The last 3 together would be a mile.

Sent from my iPhone

#252

A push resulted in a gush.
The yield was a brown steamy mush.


Sent from my iPhone

#251

So big I thought it would never end.
I thanked God when it started to bend.

Sent from my iPhone

Nov 23

A massive clog
From a massive log.

Sent from my iPhone

KK135

I gained 4 lbs. from our Friendsgiving feast.
But at home I exited 2 lbs. at least.

250

Making up for lost time.
Made one that smelled like mine.

Sent from my iPhone

249

A chopped liver sighting

Sent from my iPhone

#249

Again I've crapped a lot without writing.
This time is different, a

Sent from my iPhone

KK134

The bowl is full of browns and greens.
Thank you. Thank you, BBQ beans!

Nov 19

Kids today use "sick" as "good."
This is different, understood?

Sent from my iPhone

Nov 17

That teriyaki chicken bowl
Came flying quickly from my hole.

Sent from my iPhone

KK133

While working on a squatting pose in my yoga class,
I must've awoken something deep down in my ass.

KK132

I had been backed up for quite a while,
but this colon emptying shit is more my style.

#248

I've missed posting a few but what's the need?
I'm so far ahead why just pad the lead?

Sent from my iPhone

Nov 14

The kids are watching a show downstairs,
While I'm defacing my butthole hairs.

Sent from my iPhone

#247

The evacuation earlier today
Was brown not bright and gay.


Sent from my iPhone

#246

Waited until it was pounding at the back door
Lucky when I bent over it didn't hit the floor.

Sent from my iPhone

Nov 11

To show support for all our troops,
I removed my hat before these poops.

Sent from my iPhone

KK131

The WipeOut Run's port-o-potty was used in advance.

I didn't want to run a mile and accidentally shit my pants.

KK130

​Chicken wings, flavored with curry,

Make my poops come in a hurry.

#265

An easy exit was all set for me.
Until the Clingon screamed to be set free.


Sent from my iPhone

#264

Just after the last log fell
Came the sweet and sickly smell.

Sent from my iPhone

Nov 7

I think it's good I had to make
Before I eat a giant steak.

Sent from my iPhone

#263

That hurt because it was so big.
Had my ass squealing like a pig.

Sent from my iPhone

#262

Let a day go by without a post.
Still obvious who shits the most.

Sent from my iPhone

Nov 5

It hurts a lot, I can't ignore this.
I turned into an AssIsSorus.

Sent from my iPhone

#261

Halftime Clips and Golden State.
Curry does the shake and bake.


Sent from my iPhone

#260

My morning crap came out just fine.
I settled in but it took no time.



Sent from my iPhone

KK129

​It had been some days since my last poop blog,

Then out came a big, smelly, steaming log.

KK128

Hallelujah! I was hoping for this shit.
It all poured out. Every last bit.

#259

The rest of yesterday's intake was swiftly released.
It slid out well cause the Thai food was very well greased.

Sent from my iPhone

#258

Not expected as the final image.
Just a puny small brown n serve sausage.

Sent from my iPhone

Nov 1

I left my rectal door ajar
And shat a melted Snickers bar.

Sent from my iPhone

KK127

Muscling up and holding that last yoga pose, 

Really knocked something loose, I suppose.

#257

Another visit to the porcelain throne.
I am forever stuck in the crap crap zone.

Sent from my iPhone

#255 & 256

Yesterday 4:03 p.m.
Today at 6:03 a.m.
Crap on the 3's makes sense to me.


Sent from my iPhone

Oct 29

I ate fast food
And then fast pood.

Sent from my iPhone

#255

I let loose with an amazing gusher.
Gave new meaning to the word fourflusher.

Sent from my iPhone

KK126

Orange chicken from Panda Express,
Seriously caused my ass distress.

#254

What to say about round #2
Nothing was special, nothing was new.
I put on the squeeze and out it flew.
What's new with you?

Sent from my iPhone

#253

To crap or not to crap was not the question.
It all stemmed from a bout of indigestion.

Sent from my iPhone

KK125

At Staples Center, I made some poo

while watching a WWE pay-per-view.​

KK124

Back at work. Yet another week.
Squeezed some shit and took a leak. ​

#252

Had been a while since I'd dropped a load.
Toxic enough to make pipes corrode.




Sent from my iPhone

Oct 24

My poo's hot.
That flu shot?

Sent from my iPhone

#251

The need hit me at 7:30.
What came out was vile and dirty.

Sent from my iPhone

KK123

At 5am, it sure ain't funny,
when you shit and it's all runny.

#250

Leaving work and felt the urge.
Had to let my colon purge.

Sent from my iPhone

246,247,248,249 (3 days)

I have been shitting but I have not been writing.
Not to brag about it makes me less exciting.

Sent from my iPhone

Oct 19

Heinous fumes and odors lurk
Within the bathroom stall at work.

Sent from my iPhone

KK122

Here is a post that's bound to amaze.

I shit once every 2.4 days.

Oct 18

I farted on 14 steps in a row.
A subtle sign that I needed to go.

Sent from my iPhone

Oct 17

The pizza from the birthday party,
Made this dookie thick and hearty.

Sent from my iPhone

KK121

​I am now current after this recent post,

But we know it's Dad that shits the most.​

KK120

I forgot to post awhile back,

Oh, so eloquently about my crack.

#245

This morning the kids were craving the pool.
I pushed them right out, I'm nobody's fool.

Sent from my iPhone

#244

The Richter Scale noted an explosion in West LA.
It was me during my monster crap of the mid day.



Sent from my iPhone

Oct 14

It's red and stings, just like Sriracha.
It's like my butt is shouting, "Gotcha!"


Sent from my iPhone

#243

Shot out like a brown missile.
Landed clean as a whistle.

Sent from my iPhone

#242

Crapped in Montecito.
When ass met seat-o.

Sent from my iPhone

Oct 12

I think I know what this shit means:
Time to cut back on the beans.

Sent from my iPhone

#241

It should be a record making number four.
If not, I'm genuinely shocked to the core.


Sent from my iPhone

#240

Sing it out and sing it loud.
My trifecta made me proud.




Sent from my iPhone

#239

Even though I can't count my shits to save my life
Someone is saying, hurry up! That would be my wife.



Sent from my iPhone

#237

Round two followed with the greatest of ease.
Hmmm, when did I last eat peas?


Sent from my iPhone

#237

Round two followed with no hesitation.


Sent from my iPhone

KK119

I'm confused by what I just dumped.
Tiny green nuggets? Man, I'm stumped.

#237

A Saturday dump at the office is rare.
But the festering shit needed air.

Sent from my iPhone

#236

Yesterday so much shit going on in my business
Didn't have time to crap and leave a big huge mess.
Made up for that this morning and that's for sure.
On the menu is would be chunky soup de jour.
Sent from my iPhone

Oct 8

Don't get me wrong, the burger was great.
It's the violent after-shits I hate.

Sent from my iPhone

#235

On the phone the whole time as the pressure built.
When I let loose I swear I felt the bathroom tilt.

Sent from my iPhone

Oct 7

Another shit in the Beehive State:
The place you'll love to defecate.

Sent from my iPhone

Oct 6

My bowels just did the lambada
After eating that carne asada.

Sent from my iPhone

#234

It happened the morning to busy to post.
What I expelled was less than average at most.

Sent from my iPhone

KK118

Following a monstrous crap, I'm left feeling queasy.

Creating new poop rhymes isn't always easy.

#233

Big streaks in the bowl.
From what left my hole.

Sent from my iPhone

#232

I know it's not six yet, tick tock, tick tock.
My ass doesn't have a reliable clock.

Sent from my iPhone

#231

Nine hours later I'm at it again.
Look for a post at 6, see you then.

Sent from my iPhone

From Laynie

Big backup from Sonoma.
Led to a gross aroma.

Sent from my iPhone

#230

Went to sleep with a belly ache.
Woke up at 12 and had to make.
Why can't i crap while wide awake?
This better stop, it's too much to take.


Sent from my iPhone

Oct 4

The toilet bowl is foul and muddy.
Today's ten-four. Roger that, good buddy.

Sent from my iPhone

KK117

​The breakfast burrito that I just ingested,
Somehow passed through without being digested.
 

Oct 3

The first shitnot October's spooky:
A large and rather pungent dookie.

Sent from my iPhone

#228 & #229

First crap was at 12 and again at 3:30.
The first one was easy, the second super dirty.

Sent from my iPhone

#227

I waited a day for the time to be right.
Then I pushed out the crap, not a pretty sight.

Sent from my iPhone

KK116

San Diego sports will never be the same, 

After what I flushed at the Padres game.

#226

Two logs were released off to sea.
Brown and thick like a soft tree.

Sent from my iPhone

Sept 29

That's some serious crap I'm crappin'.
How the crap did that crap happen?

Sent from my iPhone

#225

With the greatest of ease I began to unload.
I just had to shift into defecation mode.

Sent from my iPhone

KK115

​My room wasn't ready yet at the Hard Rock Hotel,

So I stunk up their lobby bathroom. (Please don't tell)

#224

Crapping in my west LA office.
Thank god for the outgoing orifice.

Sent from my iPhone

Sept 28

The barbecue was Korean,
And I don't like what I'm seein'.

Sent from my iPhone

Sept 26

Last night I watched Snoop Doggy Dogg,
Now the toilet has brown foggy fog.

Sent from my iPhone

KK114

Dressed causally at work for a slow, Friday pace.
But these tight jeans don't hold bowels in place.

Message from Paul Klein

You have a pending incoming docs shared with you via Google docs

Click to open: Secure Message

Google Docs makes it easy to create, store and share online documents, spreadsheets and presentations.

--

Rooftoppers, Inc.

Personal and Professional Integrity since 1983

#223

Friday Friday, must crap that day.
Friday Friday, felt it slip away.

Sent from my iPhone

#222

Round two was easy to complete.
Happened as my ass hit the seat.

Sent from my iPhone

#221

I've failed to report a couple of dumps.
This one today was nothing but lumps.


Sent from my iPhone

KK113

​The pressure in my gut was giving me grief.
But one big shit brought instant relief.

Sept 22

That breakfast burrito
Made this shit un-neato.

Sent from my iPhone

#220

To be honest and truth be told.
Seemed to much for the bowl to hold.

Sent from my iPhone

#219

I had to push and wasn't easy.
What came out made me queasy.

Sent from my iPhone

Sept 21

I'll tell ya what -
That hurt my butt.

Sent from my iPhone

KK112

I saw my oldest friend become a happy groom.
Then I slipped away to stink up his room.

#218

Counting plops, 2,3,4.
Hoping for a little more.

Sent from my iPhone

#217

Went to Mogo's and ate a bowl.
Made room inside from out my hole.


Sent from my iPhone

#216

Stomach pains while homeward bound.
The crap I took looked strangely round.


Sent from my iPhone

KK111

​My gut was full, so I loosened by belt.

My stomach is now emptied! (Well, that's how it felt)

 

 

#215

The moment I saw the beautifully lighted Palmdale sign,
I knew it would be a dumping ground for me, Paul Klein.

Sent from my iPhone

Sept 17

After Back to School Night,
Brown kids started a pool fight.

Sent from my iPhone

#214

Big, fast and clean.
I'm a crapping machine.

Sent from my iPhone

KK110

From an ROI perspective, I got my money's worth.
That one was long and brown with substantial girth.

#213

The New Year dinner for us Jews.
Led to headline big poop news.

Sent from my iPhone

#212

I had to push to start and go.
Corn was a part of the flow.


Sent from my iPhone

Sept 14

As mushy, messy feces falls,
I remember last night's matzo balls.

Sent from my iPhone

Sept 13

I ate too much for Rosh Hashanah;
I hope I have no shit mañana,


Sent from my iPhone

Sept 11

To honor the towers going down,
I said the Pledge while making brown.

Sent from my iPhone

#211

Don't know why I can't count any more.
Third shit today and hoping for four.

Sent from my iPhone

KK109

This morning I tried a new breakfast burrito. ​

Let's just say the ending wasn't neato.

#209

Amazed at the volume that left my ass.
Sprayed like hell to cover the smell of gas.

Sent from my iPhone

#209

Sometimes in the cool morning
The shit flows without warning.

Sent from my iPhone

#208

208 just wouldn't wait
It flew out of the starting gate.

Sent from my iPhone

KK108

In Palm Desert it's 102 degrees,
but I'm on the toilet, typing as I squeeze.

#207

Mixed up my numbers while on the road.
Back in town to drop a load.

Sent from my iPhone

Sept 7

Pebbles aren't my normal habit,
Today I'll go by Peter Rabbit.

Sent from my iPhone

# 204

Nice vacation in Utah's Park City.
Leaving a deposit that's quite shitty.

Sent from my iPhone

Sept 7

On Labor Day, I scream and push
As something exits from my tush.

Sent from my iPhone

Sept 4

The salad I had for lunch was chopped,
But it somehow congealed before I popped.

Sent from my iPhone

#204

Crapping at elevation
Gives me a sense of trepidation.

Sent from my iPhone

KK107

Sitting here shitting and trying to rhyme, 

But now I'm finished and ran out of time. 

#204

It was a sweet and sickening smell.
Thinking, when did I eat at Taco Bell?

Sent from my iPhone

Sept 2

The shit felt gross, but just one wipe
And all was clear. (You know the type.)

Sent from my iPhone

KK106

 

I felt lighter, happier, and increased mojo,
After a dump at my son's karate dojo.
   

Sept 1

I think I shat out Nessy.
I thought she'd be more messy.

Sent from my iPhone

#203

Crapping with the elite up in Montecito
Is the same as with folks in San Bernardino.

Sent from my iPhone

KK105

The tiny nuggets still account for a shit that's valid.
They hurt coming out, so time to mix in a salad.

KK104

Opening a window and flushing often,
Should make the intense smell soften.

#202

At the office to finish paperwork.
In the bathroom, asshole gone berserk.


Sent from my iPhone

Aug 30

That came on quickly - had to run,
And then I shit a metric ton.

Sent from my iPhone

#200 & 201

This morning I pushed out a sausage link.
Now the shape less important than the stink.


Sent from my iPhone

#199

No stress no strain
Thank god no pain.


Sent from my iPhone

Aug 28

What instrument sounds like my ass?
A trumpet (or some kind of brass).

Sent from my iPhone

#198

Gushy and smelly from my tushy.
All it took was one little pushy.

Sent from my iPhone

KK103

It's 4am. They got a chance to meet.
My half-asleep ass and a cold toilet seat.

#197

On the phone doing little dance.
Trying not to make in my pants.

Sent from my iPhone

Aug 25

How strange; I honestly don't know
Whence came this chocolate pizza dough.

Sent from my iPhone

KK102

Now I'm back in an airport bathroom stall.
Cleaner than the beach, more crowded than the mall.

#'s 195&196

One explosion at 5am and another at 8.
Gut pain and a need to release: something that I ate.

Sent from my iPhone

Aug 24

Something from my weekend food
Turned my shit to bubbling crude.

Sent from my iPhone

#194

Three hours ago I had to make.
It took till now for it to take.

Sent from my iPhone

From your mother

Constipation for what it's worth
Is tantamount to giving birth.

Sent from my iPhone

KK101

I woke up to shit. I just couldn't sleep.
The hotel toilet paper was thin, rough, and cheap.

#193

Sometimes it comes in waves for me.
This time more like a sunami.

Sent from my iPhone

Aug 20

The source of all that stomach pain
Went tagging on my toilet drain.

Sent from my iPhone

#192

intermittent farts between each clump.

Made for an interesting and smelly dump.

--

Rooftoppers, Inc.

Personal and Professional Integrity since 1983

KK100

Here's a comment that deserves to be blogged -

That large bowl of chili got me unclogged!

188,189,190,191

Three shits yesterday and one today.
My colon's as clean as a whistle: hooray!

Sent from my iPhone

Aug 18

The kids' first day of kindergarten;
My butt is doing more than fartin'.

Sent from my iPhone

KK99

I've been waiting days to sit and squeeze.
A full body effort - back, legs and knees.

Aug 17

Oh wow, I had to hold my breath.
I'm pretty sure that smelled like death.

Sent from my iPhone

#187

Thought this trip would be a flop.
Til I heard the welcomed plop.

Sent from my iPhone

KK98

A 14-hour work day has me in mental disarray. 
I just made our bathroom smell of serious foul play. 

#186

It's hard to believe it when I hear her say,
(4 hours later) I can still smell the spray.

Sent from my iPhone

#185

Pain in my gut is no fun for sure.
What it yields is just crap de jour.

Sent from my iPhone

Aug 13

I ate a lot of high-end sushi,
Now my poo poo is all mooshy.

Sent from my iPhone

#184

My mission this morning without a doubt.
Was to get all this bad shit out.

Sent from my iPhone

#183

It hurt when I pushed but push I did.
What came out looked like a baby squid.

Sent from my iPhone

KK97

A nice cold beer to end the day,
Loosened my sphincter. (I'd have to say)

Aug 11

That Mexican place was a hole-in-the-wall,
And the hole in my butt went crazy, y'all.

Sent from my iPhone

Aug 10

That Chinese food had a healthy dose
Of MSG (for "Me So Gross").

Sent from my iPhone

#182

Having the patience to just let it brew.
It an attribute I wanted passed on to you.

Sent from my iPhone

KK96

I worked hard for that shit. They might've been stuck.
No more eating lunches off of that food truck.

Aug 7

This shit was nothing short of troubling,
I'm most concerned about the bubbling.

Sent from my iPhone

#181

Waited for the pressure to be intense.
Guaranteed the volume would be immense.

Sent from my iPhone

#180

A fart and a push. A fart and a push.
Helped me get all the shit from my tush.

Sent from my iPhone

KK95

I not often surprised at what comes out of my crack,
but these antibiotics made my shits turn black.

Aug 5

A log so big, I had to groan.
I think it might've had a bone.

Sent from my iPhone

#179

Office crap that was quickly brewing.
Proud of my ass, it knew what it was doing.

Sent from my iPhone

#178

Awoke at midnight needing to dump.
I expelled way more than a lump.

Sent from my iPhone

KK94

Went to the can to make a pischie, 

Instead made a poopie - soft & squishy.

#177

Monday morning doodie at the office.

4 brown ones slipped out of the orifice.

--

Rooftoppers, Inc.

Personal and Professional Integrity since 1983

#176

Pains in my gut made me sit.
It still hurts a little bit.

Sent from my iPhone

#175

Into the bathroom I boldly strode.
Only to unleash the mother lode.

Sent from my iPhone

#174

Had to push and gently strain.
flushing twice to clear the stain.

Sent from my iPhone

Aug 2

Such violent shit from eating Del Taco,
The splashes almost got my cocko.

Sent from my iPhone

#173

Silent farts to clear the path.
What came next....you do the math.

Sent from my iPhone

KK93

Shitting while drunk is no treat.
Balancing while straining is no small feat.

#172

Golly gee and oh my.
Hurt my ass and started to cry.

Sent from my iPhone

#171

Proud of myself I have to say.
Yesterday was a brown letter day.

Sent from my iPhone

KK92

Excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt,
But my ass volcano just did erupt.

July 29

The force I used on my fecal matter
Caused quite a bit of epic splatter.

Sent from my iPhone

#170

Never fails to amaze me
The volume of discharge I see.

Sent from my iPhone

Round 2 # 169

Don't know I got so full and ready.

Had to hold on to keep steady.

--

Rooftoppers, Inc.

Personal and Professional Integrity since 1983

#168

Funny that farts and gas pain

Always lead to clumps down the drain.

--

Rooftoppers, Inc.

Personal and Professional Integrity since 1983

# 168

Funny that farts and gas pain

--

Rooftoppers, Inc.

Personal and Professional Integrity since 1983

#167

Back at work on the pot.
Big one 7:30 on the dot.

Sent from my iPhone

#166

Our time in SB was really fun.
I came home and made a messy one.

Sent from my iPhone

KK91

Finding a toilet on my vacation,
Created some euphoric elation.

July 26

Thanks to the law of gravity,
I just sit and open my cavity.

Sent from my iPhone

#165

This morning I popped out some remnants.

Man, this bathroom needs more vents.

--

Rooftoppers, Inc.

Personal and Professional Integrity since 1983

#164

Had to evacuate in haste.
Filled the bowl with pungent waste.

Sent from my iPhone

KK90

With the amount of shit that I produce,

I expect to see my weight reduce.

#163 yesterday

Brown turds floating like a burdie.
Made my ass really quite durtie.


Sent from my iPhone

July 21

That stupid jalapeño popper;
I think my butthole needs a stopper.

Sent from my iPhone

#162

Looked for it in lost and found.
It was brown and weighed a pound.
Silly me. Just had to look down.


Sent from my iPhone

July 21

This hotel shit is a nasty sight.
More like "pUtah," am I right?

Sent from my iPhone

July 20

The messy cannonballs were lobbed;
I need to get my poop deck swabbed.

Sent from my iPhone

KK89

Following a day of thunder and lightning,
It was the monstrous poo that I found most frightening.

#161

The floatilla wasn't enough when last on this seat.
So I popped out the entire 6th fleet.

Sent from my iPhone

#160

Stomach pains from pressure and gas.
Led to a floatilla of crap shot from my ass.

Sent from my iPhone

#159

Sunday at work I took this dump.
It was huge, hard and came out in a clump.

Sent from my iPhone

#158

Post Castaic thunder and lightning show.
Held it in until it just had to blow.

Sent from my iPhone

KK88

Bad news - I'm posting this rhyme a day late.
Good news - The smell did eventually dissipate.

#157

I made a doodie big as it could be.
Yeah I made a doodie big as it could be,
Sometimes feels like it's almost big as me.

Sent from my iPhone

July 16

A fecal expert would love this shit,
I found an intact almond bit.

Sent from my iPhone

#156

Big and loose.
Butt abuse.



Sent from my iPhone

KK87

I ran in the stall and locked the door.
A full shit explosion! But none hit the floor.

#155

I made a little 3 times so far.
Counting them as one, not up to par.

Sent from my iPhone

July 14

Five days in the making,
So my bowels were a'quaking.

Sent from my iPhone

KK86

Like the T-Rex in the Jurassic movie,
I just crapped out a dino-sized doodie.

#152,152,153 & 154

Realized I'd gone 4 times
Without adding any rhymes.
Thursday was one, Friday was two
Saturday and Sunday full of poo.

Sent from my iPhone

#150

Without delaying the inevitable,
My crap raised the water table.

Sent from my iPhone

KK85

What was in the bowl may shock you.
My multivitamins turned my poop blue.

July 9

So much shit awaits the bowl,
I wish I could unhinge my hole.

Sent from my iPhone

#149

At 4 o'clock I hit the mother load.
Luckily I was on the commode.

Sent from my iPhone

#148

There was a big brown W staring up at me.
It had no meaning that was clear to see.



Sent from my iPhone

KK84

It had been a while since I last went.
But my time on the toilet was not misspent.

#147

Had to make a mad dash
Crap to water was major crash.

Sent from my iPhone

#146

Rancid, and definitely putrid.
What I ate was really quite stupid.

Sent from my iPhone

July 6

On murky water, my feces floats,
Like loosely-formed and smelly boats.

Sent from my iPhone

#145

That was a quick evacuation without a doubt.

The conductor said, "Last stop, everyone out:.

--

Rooftoppers, Inc.

Personal and Professional Integrity since 1983

July 5

A burger, two dogs, and some beans;
No wonder I almost crapped my jeans.

Sent from my iPhone

KK83

Apparently, I don't digest the chili I eat.
It just shoots out the moment my ass hits the seat.

# 143 & 144

Food 4 Less restroom in Corona.
Got my morning going from the endzona.
Followed up with a classic voiding
No effect or hemmeroiding.

Sent from my iPhone

July 3

And for today, July the 3rd,
My butt's produced a juicy turd.

Sent from my iPhone

#142

After dinner dribs and drabs,
Could feel it in my abs.

Sent from my iPhone

#141

The volume was immense.
The smell, it was awful.
The texture certainly was dense.
As a hole, bordering unlawful.





Sent from my iPhone

KK82

My large greenish poo left a big green stain
And fought mightily before succumbing down the drain.

July 1

It's now July - July the 1st.
Time to smell my rectum burst.

Sent from my iPhone

#139 & 140

Twice before noon every day.
Holy shit is all I can say.

Sent from my iPhone

June 30

The month is June, the day is 30.
Time to make my butthole dirty.

Sent from my iPhone

KK81

I was feeling kinda bloated from too much bread at dinner.
Thank you - Glorious Poo! I now feel much thinner.

#137 & #138

Rapid fire crapping down the drain.
Hard to believe it happened again.

Sent from my iPhone

KK80

As I'm typing to you now, I need some advice.
This crap is so huge, should I post this twice?

June 28

After a couple of stomach tornados,
I shit out some nasty mashed shit-brown potatoes.

Sent from my iPhone

#136

Something the toilet receives quite often.
A hard beginning that tends to soften.

Sent from my iPhone

#135

A Clark Bar suddenly appeared today.
Gnarly in appearance I'd have to say.

Sent from my iPhone

KK79

Pushing that turd out was a fight and a tussle.
Who cares? The Lakers just drafted DeAngelo Russell!

#134

I've been having some trouble as of late.
Getting the crap past the exit gate.
Today I waited till it was almost too late.
But the big load left and it felt great.

Sent from my iPhone

Golf

The bathroom at the course didn't smell.
I took care of that very well.

Sent from my iPhone

The bathroom at the course didn't smell.
I took care of that very well.

June 24

Dear food I ate at El Patron:
Please leave my battered ass alone.

Sent from my iPhone

KK78

A gigantic poo can be a real weight lessener.
But the smell necessitated a strong air freshener.

# 132

A noisy and soft one slowly released.
Pungent as well to say the least.

Sent from my iPhone

KK77

I had a great Father's Day. Yep that's right.
But it was a massive dump that really made my night.

Father's Day

Not a clean one that needed a multiple wipe.
Still at it. Difficult to type.

Sent from my iPhone

June 21

My first shit of summer, and here's the thing:
The food I poop out, I ate back in Spring.

Sent from my iPhone

KK76

Hopped out of bed into a wobbly stance.
Limped to the toilet before I shit my pants.

#130

Saturday is a big shit day.
End of the week and my ass has to pay.

Sent from my iPhone

June 18

I sit on the toilet and start to relax,
Then my butt starts to sound like an out of tune sax.

Sent from my iPhone

KK75

Late last night, I at a Big Mac.

Today I pushed it out my big crack.

#129

Just the right consistency
I'm now foot loose and fancy free.

Sent from my iPhone

KK74

​I don't know how long this can last,
But stress at work makes the shits come fast.

KK73

Awoke this morning with pains in the belly.
Had a gross explosion that resembled jelly.

#129

Natural and leaving without sticken.
Must have been the free range chicken.

Sent from my iPhone

#127

Stomach pain that curled my toes.
Oh god yes it was one of those.


Sent from my iPhone

June 15

There's lots of things the body needs,
But it won't process sesame seeds.

Sent from my iPhone

#126

Risotto last night before the play.
2 bagels at breakfast to start the day.
No wonder my ass was chosen to pay.

Sent from my iPhone

#125

Just tonight I had to fart.
It was just the beginning part.
What happened next gave me quite a start.
I shat out a chocolate tart.

Sent from my iPhone

KK72

What an amazing, bowl-filling crap!
I now want to skip dinner and go take a nap.

KK71

My lunch decision today wasn't too wise.
Never mix a chili dog with chili fries.

June 13

This came so quickly, I had to run.
Wow, exercising CAN be fun!

Sent from my iPhone

#123,124

Mountain getaways sure are fun
The cleanest water, air and sky.
It's sad to say your day is done.
Crapping was easy, hardly had to try.

Sent from my iPhone

KK70

It defies logic and it's outcome I hate,

But how do I keep crapping, yet not lose weight?

June 9

Happy Birthday to Aunt Judy.
Here's my present; it's a doody.

Sent from my iPhone

#122

I don't know what's gotten into me.
Just know what's come out of me.
Three times so far and sickeningly sweet.
Maybe I shouldn't leave this seat.

Sent from my iPhone

#121

Guess the last didn't include dessert.
Had to give it another squirt.

Sent from my iPhone

#120

The breakfast Burrito sure was fine.
Obvious on review that the crap was mine.





Sent from my iPhone

June 8

That tri tip sandwich was a doozy,
I'm sore and just a wee bit woozy.

Sent from my iPhone

#119

While taking a leak I felt something knocking.
My cell phone rang and I shat while talking.

Sent from my iPhone

KK69

​Does

 complain

​ing​

about straining make me a jerk?
I just like to shit and not have to work.

KK68

Four bottles of Fiji water kept me hydrated.
This morning's massive crap left me elated.

#118

A log is a log is a log.
But this one made me pant like a dog.




Sent from my iPhone

June 8

That shit was sharp and hurt a bunch,
Must be the tip from my tri tip lunch.

Sent from my iPhone

June 7

My buddy Dave just got engaged,
Which somehow made my butt enraged.

Sent from my iPhone

#116

Hard lumps are always hard to pass.
The need a push to make a splash.
It's not much fun for my poor ass.
They sink to the bottom in a flash.



Sent from my iPhone

June 5

At LegoLand, I shat a brick.
It's fitting but a little sick.

Sent from my iPhone

#116

Don't know what I happened to eat.
Haven't got a clue.
Almost got blown off the toilet seat.
Must have been beef stew.



Sent from my iPhone

Numbers fucked up #115

Finally a normal shit
Came out firm and smelled a bit.

Sent from my iPhone

KK67

On the can now. Content look on my face.
Skipping dinner last night thankfully cleared up some space.

#113

The pills I got from Pete
Make my insides churn
They force me to the toilet seat
Or my asshole will burn.

Sent from my iPhone

#112

When I looked below what did I find?
The Hawaiian Islands came to mind.


Sent from my iPhone

#112

It came out in pieces and filled the bowl
I watched it swirl when I reached my goal.
Amazed it all fit inside the porcelain hole.

Sent from my iPhone

June 1

Based on that shit, this ain't "June Gloom,"
It's full-on "June Impending Doom."

Sent from my iPhone

KK66

After a plate of chicken parmesan,
There was a lot of pooping going on.

#111

Nothing special for me to share
Just something pungent into the afternoon air.


Sent from my iPhone

Give it a number? 110

Not sure whether to count or not.
Hardly more than an exclamation mark and dot.

Sent from my iPhone

#109

It couldn't be the party food
That made my ass change its mood.
Went from happy to sad and smelly.
All because of a really foul belly.

Sent from my iPhone

#108

The air is crisp and new
Birds chirping a happy tune
Flowers bloom to greet a new June
The porcelain streaked and stained with doo.



Sent from my iPhone

May 30

Making something thick and hearty
Before my niece's birthday party.

Sent from my iPhone

KK65

Monstrous, green and came out in bulk.
Quite honestly, resembled The Incredible Hulk.

May 29

That's really strange; I could've sworn
I chewed while eating last night's corn.

Sent from my iPhone

#106

Slept all night hoping not to explode
5 a.m. came and dropped a nice load.

Sent from my iPhone

#104. Yucky poo

Upset stomach from some spicy pasta.
Trying to calm it with a piece of Matzos .

Sent from my iPhone

#104

Gushing, spewing, shooting and plopping.
All this led to my weight dropping.

Sent from my iPhone

May 28

My butt has had an active month,
With shits so foul that this won't rhyme.

Sent from my iPhone

#103 movie theater

Out popped a milk dud and a junior mint creature.
Hope this is a double feature.

Sent from my iPhone

#102 Paul

It really snuck up on me
I released it with glee
Now it's floating free.


Sent from my iPhone

May 26

Thanks to the extra thick burger patties,
I'm straining to squeeze out a couple of fatties.

Sent from my iPhone

Paul #101

I can't believe I crap so much

I must have the feces touch.

--

Rooftoppers, Inc.

Personal and Professional Integrity since 1983

Letting nature take its course

The bbq food played a part.
In making this trip more than a fart.

Sent from my iPhone

May 25

Doing my rectum some serious harm
Before we drive over to Underwood Farm.

Sent from my iPhone

KK64

That 1lb. burger sat in my belly like a pound of lead.
"What a huge piece of meat" (That's what she said)

KK63

That relaxing poop slid out with ease,
It's smell still required long sprays of Fabreze.

How true

4 1/2 pounds and long brown stain.
Something to lose and something to gain.

Sent from my iPhone

For all three

Crapping and too lazy to write
Two during the day and one tonight.

Sent from my iPhone

May 22

My ears perked up and I said, "What?!?!?
That sounds like pee, but from my butt!"

Sent from my iPhone

May 22

Brick Tamland once pooped out a hammer,
But Peter Klein's a real log jammer.

Sent from my iPhone

May 21

For lunch I had a yummy gyro,
(Something clever) Robert DeNiro.

Sent from my iPhone

KK62

That smelled horrendous. I have to say...
That vile shit looked like watered-down clay.

KK61

The chicken cordon bleu didn't feel good in my gut.
That chicken cordon blew right out of my butt.

May 18

Every time I rocked, I farted.
Not sure why I ever started.

Sent from my iPhone

Made it home

Not wanting to smell up Peters abode.
Straight to the bathroom to severely off-load.


Sent from my iPhone

It's only natural

I don't need to plan or be urged
When the crap has to be purged.



Sent from my iPhone

Back to basics

Returning home is lots of fun
Get a chance to see my hun.
Nice thoughts on the pot while I relax and sit.
All ruined by the nasty smell of shit.

Sent from my iPhone

KK60

Up with cramps at 5am. I'm dying...
Only crapped a nugget. Hardly worth trying.

Golf

In the "Springs" hitting the ball
Two double bogies were my downfall.
Today should be better all in all.
I crapped them out in the downstairs stall.

Sent from my iPhone

May 14

This shit is something quite uncommon;
Thanks for nothing, spicy ramen.

Sent from my iPhone

May 14

The shit storm raged while still inside,
Which made the output liquified.

Sent from my iPhone

KK59

Very colorful. Greens, yellows, and browns.
I filled up the bowl and lost 2 pounds.

Quantifying

More than a drop in the bucket.

Sent from my iPhone

May 12

Got interrupted by my daughter,
Then went back to the muddy water.

Sent from my iPhone

Holding back

Waited.
Keeping it under control.
Feeling bad for the toilet bowl.



Sent from my iPhone

May 11

Taking my dog to obedience training,
Right after I finish my rocking and straining.

Sent from my iPhone

At it again

Smaller, firmer and fine

more typical for a Klein.

--

Rooftoppers, Inc.

Personal and Professional Integrity since 1983

The blob

Just a mushy ugly sight
Hard to wipe
Try as I might

Sent from my iPhone

KK58

After the shits stopped, I felt satisfaction.
Then I craved a beer. (Didn't expect that reaction)

Took a break

Didn't report the last ten
Busy now and then
Today was a hard one
It was the matzoh - I ate some



Sent from my iPhone

KK57

My wife helped my son study Hebrew vowels,
While I sat on the toilet exiting bowels.

May 8

Been here so long, my butt's asleep.
Thank god this toilet bowl is deep.

Sent from my iPhone

May 6

Estoy haciendo un número dos.
Un poquito smelly y mucho gross.

Sent from my iPhone

KK56

That horrible smell I crapped out today,
No ceiling fan could blow away. 

Monday Monday

It didn't start off with a bang
Just a long brown thang.

Sent from my iPhone

A religious experience

Amazingly it all seemed to fit
All I can say is Holy Shit!

Sent from my iPhone

Gods plan

Peristalsis works for me
Pooping happens naturally

Sent from my iPhone

KK55

What my anus just created,
Also left it dilapidated.

May 2

My poor little asshole is getting sore;
I don't want to do this anymore.

Sent from my iPhone

Crapping machine

Don't no where it comes from
I hardly are a crumb.

Sent from my iPhone

Harmony

Big, long, solid consistency
That God for elasticity

Sent from my iPhone

Apr 30

If the temperature were any hotter,
My balls would dip into the water.

Sent from my iPhone

Apr 30

I hope that's it; I'm feeling woozy.
This doodie doing is a doozie.

Sent from my iPhone

KK54

To my ass, the poo kept stickin'.
Too much rice and BBQ chicken.

Wow

Two flushes was not enough
To clean away this brown stuff.

Sent from my iPhone

Apr 29

This post-Korean shitting hurts.
It's like there's charcoal in the squirts.

Sent from my iPhone

Apr 29

All that Korean barbecue
Went through me in an hour. Ew.

Sent from my iPhone

Strange

A brown cigar-shape object
Seemed to float across the water
I know what it wasn't
It wasn't an otter.

Sent from my iPhone

Apr 28

Another sticky, stinky type;
I could've used a baby wipe.

Sent from my iPhone

Morning evacuation

Slip sliding away
Not even pushing today.

Sent from my iPhone

KK53

The shit was constant. It just wouldn't stop.
Splash, splatter, dump, dump, splatter, splash, plop.

My duty

It's my doodie to write about shit.
Doing that as I sit to wit.

Sent from my iPhone

Apr 26

This shit is liquid, brown, and hot,
Like I'm a human coffee pot.

Sent from my iPhone

Of course

When your colon is loaded it's understood
That taking a dump is mighty good.

Sent from my iPhone

Apr 24

Despite the thorough, extra wipes,
My underwear is sporting stripes.

Sent from my iPhone

2nd Act

Not as explosive as the first
Nothing hurt and nothing burst.

Sent from my iPhone

A lull in the action

Yesterday I went without
Made up for this morning without a doubt.

Sent from my iPhone

KK52

A Poop Storm was brewing on the horizon.
(And I just typed that from my Verizon)

KK51

My pants were splitting at the seams.
That's why I avoid all leafy greens!

Overland

Round two
Should be no surprise to you


Sent from my iPhone

Losing

A half pound had departed me
On a journey to the sea



Sent from my iPhone

Apr 21

Shitting at an early hour,
Glad I waited for my shower.

Sent from my iPhone

Still upset

Gurgling with pressure distinct
Stinks too much to thinkt

Sent from my iPhone

3:33 am

Foul gut awakened me
Blasted forth deliriously

Sent from my iPhone

Apr 19

I swear I only ate a waffle,
Yet this shit smells fucking awful.

Sent from my iPhone

Consistency

Hard like a rock? No way.
Soft like a over ripe banana? I must say nay.
Just perfect in every way.




Sent from my iPhone

KK50

I emptied it all into a giant heap.
But I sat too long and both legs fell asleep.

Before the ride

About to bike it a few miles
Purging was met with an upside down smile.

Sent from my iPhone

Apr 17

Don't get me wrong, this shit smells bad,
But better than the gas I had.

Sent from my iPhone

This way out

When I went potty
The crap exited my body

Sent from my iPhone

Satisfaction

Big crap to start the day
Satisfaction all the way
Oh my!

Sent from my iPhone

KK49

That hurt coming out. Jagged like a rock.
Not surprisingly, it now hurts when I walk.

Afternoon

Maybe not the last today
Much to my colons dismay.

Sent from my iPhone

At it again

Being regular is really neat
I've become friends with the toilet seat


Sent from my iPhone

Apr 15

The kids are getting set for school
While I drop others at the pool.

Sent from my iPhone

A sign

Something long and brown was born
Complete with a slight touch of corn.

Sent from my iPhone

At work

Had to work a little bit
To get it going and make it fit
But when it left and made a plop
I knew that was it and had to stop.

Sent from my iPhone

Apr 13

Food breaks down in many ways,
Except, I guess, for bolognese.

Sent from my iPhone

KK48

It was one of the nastiest shits I've seen.
Looked like applesauce, smelled like kerosene.

Two for the money

Twice in the a.m. today
Once with gusto
Once just o.k.

Sent from my iPhone

KK47

That was a satisfying shit. Pain-free.
It just effortlessly rolled out. Strain-free.

Apr 10

I'm pretty sure my ass just pissed.
That Thai place got crossed off my list.

Sent from my iPhone

Apr 10

A runny, messy, stinky poo.
Thanks for nothing, pad see ew.

Sent from my iPhone

Apr 10

This magic shit came out in a hurry,
What started as yellow became brown curry.

Sent from my iPhone

Easy exit

Hardly knew it
When the shit passed through it

Sent from my iPhone

KK46

The burger seemed tasty, from how it looked.
Next time, I won't eat meat that isn't fully cooked.

KK45

Off the freeway to empty out the poopmaker.
Surprisingly, nice toilets are in the city of Baker.

That's life

Contrary to popular belief
A big crap doesn't guarantee relief.

Sent from my iPhone

Apr 7

My fart had a strange and warbly tone,
Like a goose getting fucked by a trombone.


Sent from my iPhone

Warm but not fuzzy

Matzo balls, brisket and wine
Yield a crap fit for a Klein

Sent from my iPhone

Sunday

Waited until the last minute
'Til it was begging to come out
And that it did without a doubt


Sent from my iPhone

KK44

Just as my last piece of crap falls,
I look up to notice that I've steamed up the walls.

Apr 4

In honor of it being Passover today,
May my smell scare the Angel of Death away.

Sent from my iPhone

Back at it

I've been woefully remiss
Not writing about this
But since I have a minute
It's all about the toilet and what's in it

Sent from my iPhone

Apr 1

A bad reaction to Ethiopian food;
I think I shat out a fallopian tube.

Sent from my iPhone

Mar 31

Who had putrid, sticky stools?
Not me. (Early April Fools!)

Sent from my iPhone

Satisfying

The time was ripe
The shit slipped down the pipe
It landed with a plop
A little piece of corn atop


Sent from my iPhone

KK43

5 times in 3 days! How can this be?
What did I eat that is doing this to me?!

KK42

I'm not proud of this. It sure ain't great.
This week I've been shitting at a Papa Paul rate.

KK41

It's not a mini generator or a fastball either.

It was my crap that I called a big, nasty heater.

Mar 29

Before my kids' 5th birthday party,
I'm making something thick and hearty.

Sent from my iPhone

KK40

So much shitting. It didn't smell nice.
A mountain of mud. I had to flush thrice.

KK39

Just finished 3 days of camping.
Heading home gassy and cramping.

Pasadena

Before the Pygmalion play
I crapped and crapped away
After the Pygmalion play
Nothing changed I'm sorry to say

Sent from my iPhone

Unloading

Back from a tear off in culver city.
Compared to my crap
That job was pretty,


Sent from my iPhone

Burning

I'm in to spicy food and stuff
I just can't seem to get enough
It's something causes me distress
Cause my ass burns and is a real mess.


Sent from my iPhone

Mar 27

I'd like to thank that healthy juice
For cooking up this fruity deuce.

Sent from my iPhone

At the golf course

Used the women's bathroom on hole #9
Best shot of the day, came out just fine.

Sent from my iPhone

Mar 26

Note to self: that 9-seed bread
Was tasty, but my anus bled.

Sent from my iPhone

KK38

That shit was unexpected with no hesitation.
Had to pull off the road to find a gas station.

Mar 25

After all that stomach hurting,
This little pebbles are disconcerting.

Sent from my iPhone

With gusto

Red meat for dinner
Made me thinner

Sent from my iPhone

Bad choices

Crap doesn't come in a neat little packet.
Sometimes it arrives with a good deal of racket,
Luckily this one smelled better than my bracket!

Sent from my iPhone

Tuna

The tuna sandwich I ate last night
Swam through my system at the speed of light
I could tell my bowels were in for a fight
And what came out was a horrible sight.

Sent from my iPhone

Mar 23

Nasty, vile, gross, and heinous:
Words that all describe my anus.

Sent from my iPhone

KK37

Before leading a new orientation class,
A BBQ chicken pizza was dumped from my ass.

Missing craps

2 on Saturday
2 on Sunday
1 today
Too busy to type I say.

Sent from my iPhone

KK36

The crap kept on coming. It wouldn't stop.
I bet this odor makes our property value drop.

No let up

Twice before and twice today.
Didn't post didn't know what to say
But sitting here with the Levine's
I realized my intestines were clean.



Sent from my iPhone

Mar 22

Cajun food then Mexican
Made my sphincter flex again.

Sent from my iPhone

Mar 20

Something foul and rather mushy
Oozed like lava from my tushy.

Sent from my iPhone

KK35

That powerful bowel destruction,
Had absolutely no obstruction.

2 so far

Two craps today and no poem
I'll make it up cause I owe em

Sent from my iPhone

Mar 18

St. Patty's Day and then Ruth's Chris
Make green and pricy shit and piss.

Sent from my iPhone

KK34

​I sat down on the toilet. Man, I was all set.

Then SPLASH in the water...now my ass is all wet!

By weight

My toilet received
A gift indeed
A sloppy joe without the bun
It weighed in at less than a ton.

Sent from my iPhone

Unsure

Liquid, solid and gas.
Shooting out of my ass.
How did this come to pass?
Think I'll eat some grass.



Sent from my iPhone

Mar 16

More stinging Utah shit? Just great.
No wonder it's the Beehive State.

Sent from my iPhone

Mar 16

A nasty shit in Salt Lake City.
Unlike the mountains, this ain't pretty.

Sent from my iPhone

A nice start

Batting a thousand to start the week.
Leaning to the side to take a peek.
Caught a whiff that stuck so deep
Don't know if I'll ever speak (again).


Sent from my iPhone

KK33

Spicy chicken sandwiches sure taste nice.
Unfortunately, they also burn twice.

Mar 15

That hurt and made my anus bleed.
"Beware the ides of March" indeed.

Sent from my iPhone

Then she asked

Gas pains were just the start
Then she asked, did you fart?
It was now time to do my part
For me crapping has become an art.

Sent from my iPhone

West LA

Afternoon evacuation
No need for meditation
Or medication.

Sent from my iPhone

Mar 13

This massive stink was caused by Chipotle;
It's strong enough to be smelled remotlay.

Sent from my iPhone

Friday a.m.

It seems so easy just to sit
And make a large deposit


Sent from my iPhone

Morning

The rumbles had begun and I knew full well
That the push would be followed by smell.

Sent from my iPhone

KK32

Boarded my flight. I'm ready to unwind.
An airport bathroom stench - I've left behind. 

Not worth the wait

Nothing yesterday amazing as that may sound
Today was minimal and less than half a pound.

Sent from my iPhone

KK31

That crap was so impressive (while in Oklahoma)
That it deserved a graduation or at least a diploma.

Mar 10

At my new job with my first dumping session.
I hope that my stink leaves a lasting impression.

Sent from my iPhone

Wow

Ditto on the previous post
I'd better eat some toast.

Sent from my iPhone

Wow

The pills I took as a stool softener
Should be taken less oftener.

Sent from my iPhone

Stressful Monday

Employee issues to the max
Some work hard some are lax
Didn't take long to get the facts
Even my crap left telltale tracks.

Sent from my iPhone

Mar 9

Like a boxer cutting weight before a fight,
Pre-new-job shitting just feels right.


Sent from my iPhone

KK30

While shitting I thought of my brother.
We like to share rhymes with each other.

Naturally

Sitting on the throne seems fitting
When the plan at hand is shitting

Sent from my iPhone

Mar 8

One little smelly piece of shit?
I'm sorry, but that can't be it.


Sent from my iPhone

Weight reduction

Losing the pounds while not limiting my intake
Allows me to eat things one might think a mistake.
But discharging in bulk is a cure for Gods sake
Even when consuming a huge piece of cake.

Sent from my iPhone

I'm making

Got home early to sit and make
Only a moment did it actually take
It came out like a shot
Well....that's all I've got.


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Mar 5

I'm pretty sure that protein shake
Made something in my rectum break.

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KK29

It shot right out. Smelly and warm.
Yes, in a totally liquid form.

I have to fess up

I have to admit it
I'm not lying a bit
Ideally plopped out
another shit!

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Crapping machine

I did it with ease
Hardly a squeeze
Maybe one more tonight cause I'm not a tease.

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Overland

Sitting on the porcelain throne
Looking for the drop zone.
Spotted it and aimed with care
Hit the with bullseye with room to spare.



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Mar 4

Thanks to that new protein powder,
I just created poo poo chowder.

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Heading home

Stopped at "The Gate" for work and the view.
Saw it all and the roofing crew too
Bowels in an uproar so I had to spew.

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