I lied

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Think I might be done for July.

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I thought they banned two-a-days

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July 30

That shit took so long,
That doing it in a "stall"
Was appropriate.

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Tommy's

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Sports cliche... Dump

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Sure, I'm on a historic pace, but I'm just like anybody else. I put my pants on one leg at a time.

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I'm tiring not to get caught up in all the hype. I'm just taking it one poop at a time

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Booyah

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Firepower

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July 27

This shit came quickly;
I guess it was jealous of
My kids' swim lessons.

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Saterday

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Póøpÿ

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Think I forgot one from yesterday

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Pööp

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Dawg, that was NOT a weak poo

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July 24

Shitting while holding
A cup of coffee, so it's
Brown In and Brown Out.


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Y poo mama tambien

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Le Poo de France

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Poo d'état

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That's how I do

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And how

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Back to normal

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July 21

I think that food truck
Screwed up. I didn't order
The Laxative Meal.


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Heating up

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Didn't go yesterday

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July 19

Damn, I screwed that up:
I wore my brown underwear
Yesterday. Moron.

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What dey?

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Still weird

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Why?

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Well then there is no pleasing you

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Not like this

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Digestive insanity

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July 15

My ass must have gone
To the optometrist since
It's all dilated.

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Still not right

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Maybe I'm not done.

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T funk fuzzy the dunk

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Think I might be done

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Here we go again

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July 14

I think Greg might have
Hand to Mouth to Ass Disease
'Cause man does he shit.

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Yuck

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I feel icky

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5

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4

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3

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Yesterday

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2

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1

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Squadoosh

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Po po zow?

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July 10

As my shit emerged,
I said, "Aloha!" I flushed,
And said it again.

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Spinach-y

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Sorry Monsieur Huget

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Earlier

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Yesterday

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July 8

I ate fish, and now
I give it back to the sea.
Fecal recycling.

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July 5

First day in Maui,
But I've already produced
A pupu platter.

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Pow

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I can't possibly keep this up

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Earlier

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FMITGA

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Green tea really is good for digestive health

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Shaw nuf

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Rapid fire

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Everything zen? I don't think so.

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So much

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A quick one before bed

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USA USA USA

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Happy fourth

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We're done with our mission... Asshole, at ease. Until the next adventure.

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Creature report. Creature report... Creature report!!!

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July 2

Three days 'til Maui,
But my butt's acting like a
Brown poi volcano.

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Early fireworks show

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Huhhhh???

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Whaaaaa???

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