107 downstairs

Big meeting later, So I need to be lighter On my toes. And butt. Sent from my iPhone

106 work

Another one here? Do I need to start citing Which bathroom I’m in? Sent from my iPhone

105 work

This one made me say “Oh? Oh!” aloud with surprise. Why? That’s my secret. Sent from my iPhone

104 home

This makes three today! All from me but all unique. Just like having kids. Sent from my iPhone

103 home

Was just about to Go for a long walk. Good thing. I spared some bushes. Sent from my iPhone

102 downstairs

My stomach’s better. I mean it feels better but I’m still, ya know, here. Sent from my iPhone

101 work

Sprayed some Poo-purri And I think it might’ve worked. Or my nose gave up. Sent from my iPhone

100 downstairs

Ugh, it’s still not right. Emmy’s had some bad shits too, So can I blame her? Sent from my iPhone

99 downstairs

Was it the smoothie? Because I can’t deny that There’s some smoothness here. Sent from my iPhone

98 downstairs

That wasn’t just gross, It was memorably gross. I’m sorry, bathroom. Sent from my iPhone

97 downstairs

Yesterday An all-day conference Is no place to be shitting. Phew for everyone. Sent from my iPhone

96 work

This wasn’t too bad, But I don’t think I got to Yesterday’s burger. Sent from my iPhone

95 home

Happy Saturday. I’m adding the sat and turd And the day I guess. Sent from my iPhone

94 home

I ate some French fries And it wasn’t on Friday. Is this punishment? Sent from my iPhone

93 downstairs

Poop, shower, quick walk. That’s how you start a Friday! Don’t need the poop though. Sent from my iPhone

92 home

My butt’s unhappy. But I think my nose has it Pretty damn bad too. Sent from my iPhone

91 downstairs

I have a feeling I’ll be here again soon. And …other feelings too. Sent from my iPhone

90 work

So glad I’m alone. The sounds my butt made were gross And hard to explain. Sent from my iPhone

89 downstairs

I wanted to wait But there was no denying This shit’s intention. Sent from my iPhone

88 home

I’m shitting more here. Guess I like the new toilet. I mean, stats don’t lie. Sent from my iPhone

87 home

Yesterday Daughter’s sleepover Is starting soon. Hope the smell Is long gone by then. Sent from my iPhone

86 home

The new toilet works. That’s a really good thing since This was a big assk. Sent from my iPhone

85 downstairs

TGI Fartday! Not sure why I’m thanking god, But hey, it’s catchy. Sent from my iPhone

84 home

Tried going before But failed. I mean my butt failed. But my butt failed. Yeah. Sent from my iPhone

83 work

I just don’t get it. I shat out all my insides But am still farting? Sent from my iPhone

82 downstairs

Last night. Right before bedtime, I’m shitting all my brains out. That’s right, I’m brainless. Sent from my iPhone

81 home

I hope this isn't
From that new trail mix I like.
Because if so…bye!

Sent from my iPhone

80 home

Happy birthday, kids!
This thing I'm making is not
Your birthday present.

Sent from my iPhone

79 downstairs

Yesterday

What do you call a
Magical fairy who farts
A lot? Stinkersmell.

Sent from my iPhone