140 downstairs

Wish I’d weighed myself Before letting all that go To see the difference. Sent from my iPhone

139 home

Was interrupted By a knock at the door, but I’m a fucking pro. Sent from my iPhone

138 downstairs

Happy birthday, wife! My gift to you is simple: Do NOT go in there! Sent from my iPhone

137 home

Should I have known that Sushi and deli food are Incompatible? Sent from my iPhone

136 kids’ bathroom

I tried earlier But I guess it was too soon. Now my ass complies. Sent from my iPhone

135 downstairs

Yesterday A pre-bedtime shit Makes me a lighter sleeper. That’s my time, thank you! Sent from my iPhone

134 work

Yesterday Huge gas pains, but then Something undeserving of That internal strife. Sent from my iPhone