What the fuck is this?
I didn't eat anything
That should cause this…mess.
Sent from my iPhone
Saturday, May 31, 2025
Friday, May 30, 2025
135 downstairs
Can shit have a tail?
That looked like a brown lizard
Making its escape.
Sent from my iPhone
That looked like a brown lizard
Making its escape.
Sent from my iPhone
Tuesday, May 27, 2025
134 home
I went from "Do I…?"
To "splat!" in like ten seconds.
Sound like fun? It's not.
Sent from my iPhone
To "splat!" in like ten seconds.
Sound like fun? It's not.
Sent from my iPhone
Monday, May 26, 2025
Sunday, May 25, 2025
131 home
They call it Thai food
But it just made my butt lose.
(That's better spoken.)
Sent from my iPhone
But it just made my butt lose.
(That's better spoken.)
Sent from my iPhone
130 downstairs
This wasn't a log,
Nor was it sawdust. I'd say
More like two branches.
Sent from my iPhone
Nor was it sawdust. I'd say
More like two branches.
Sent from my iPhone
Friday, May 23, 2025
Thursday, May 22, 2025
Tuesday, May 20, 2025
126 kids’ bathroom
My back hurts a lot,
So this shit made me nervous.
All's fine in the end.
Sent from my iPhone
So this shit made me nervous.
All's fine in the end.
Sent from my iPhone
Sunday, May 18, 2025
125 downstairs
Made my parents leave
So I could do this without
Harming my image.
Sent from my iPhone
So I could do this without
Harming my image.
Sent from my iPhone
Saturday, May 17, 2025
124 home
Yesterday
This one came on fast
And then I forgot to write.
I'm a silly man.
Sent from my iPhone
This one came on fast
And then I forgot to write.
I'm a silly man.
Sent from my iPhone
Friday, May 16, 2025
123 kids’ bathroom
I must have missed one.
I'm usually on it, but
Something smells fishy.
Sent from my iPhone
I'm usually on it, but
Something smells fishy.
Sent from my iPhone
Tuesday, May 13, 2025
122 downstairs
Oh come on, stomach.
I think enough is enough.
My hole needs a break.
Sent from my iPhone
I think enough is enough.
My hole needs a break.
Sent from my iPhone
Monday, May 12, 2025
121 kids’ bathroom
A 3-dump Monday,
With a chance I'll go for 4.
I'll keep you posted.
Sent from my iPhone
With a chance I'll go for 4.
I'll keep you posted.
Sent from my iPhone
120 kids’ bathroom
The kids are at school,
So I'm wrecking their bathroom
Like all good dads do.
Sent from my iPhone
So I'm wrecking their bathroom
Like all good dads do.
Sent from my iPhone
119 downstairs
I'm no scientist,
But I think that last night's farts
Were solidified.
Sent from my iPhone
But I think that last night's farts
Were solidified.
Sent from my iPhone
Sunday, May 11, 2025
118 downstairs
That swordfish last night
Had the sword part removed, but
Tell that to my butt.
Sent from my iPhone
Had the sword part removed, but
Tell that to my butt.
Sent from my iPhone
Saturday, May 10, 2025
116 downstairs
After all these years
And all these stellar haiku,
I just keep shitting.
Sent from my iPhone
And all these stellar haiku,
I just keep shitting.
Sent from my iPhone
Friday, May 9, 2025
114 downstairs
My leg fell asleep,
And my butt hurts. Just picture
How that makes me walk.
Sent from my iPhone
And my butt hurts. Just picture
How that makes me walk.
Sent from my iPhone
Wednesday, May 7, 2025
113 home
We're back from the vet,
And neither Emmy nor I
Shit on the floor there.
Sent from my iPhone
And neither Emmy nor I
Shit on the floor there.
Sent from my iPhone
112 home
Two shits already
And I don't think I'm done yet.
Just so much to give!
Sent from my iPhone
And I don't think I'm done yet.
Just so much to give!
Sent from my iPhone
111 downstairs
Going for a walk,
But doing this first. I'm not
A shit-walking guy.
Sent from my iPhone
But doing this first. I'm not
A shit-walking guy.
Sent from my iPhone
Tuesday, May 6, 2025
110 kids’ room
Took my kids to school,
Then dropped these off at the pool.
I'm quite the chauffeur.
Sent from my iPhone
Then dropped these off at the pool.
I'm quite the chauffeur.
Sent from my iPhone
Monday, May 5, 2025
109 downstairs
Booming farts last night,
So this was underwhelming
(But oversmelming).
Sent from my iPhone
So this was underwhelming
(But oversmelming).
Sent from my iPhone
Sunday, May 4, 2025
108 home
(Yesterday)
The shower can wait.
I have more pressing matters…
Inside my rectum.
Sent from my iPhone
The shower can wait.
I have more pressing matters…
Inside my rectum.
Sent from my iPhone
Saturday, May 3, 2025
107 downstairs
Way to go, toilet.
I know that was a challenge,
But you persevered.
Sent from my iPhone
I know that was a challenge,
But you persevered.
Sent from my iPhone
Thursday, May 1, 2025
106 downstairs
That made a weird sound.
I'd try to describe it, but
Fwatt is all I got.
Sent from my iPhone
I'd try to describe it, but
Fwatt is all I got.
Sent from my iPhone
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