52 home

Bye, February.
We had some good times and some
Downright shit-filled ones.

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51 kids’ bathroom

TGIF, folks!
No, I'm not gonna make it
Stand for "fart." Grow up.

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50 home

Time between meetings
Means I don't have to worry
About a whoopsie.

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49 kids’ bathroom

My kids don't know that
I'm destroying their bathroom,
And I think that's fine.

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48 home

Call me Old Fairhful.
Not for regularity,
But for the geyser.

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47 downstairs

Tummy was grumbly.
But this shit wasn't crumbly.
Just regular gross.

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46 home

My butthole takes risks.
This shit was way out of its
Normal comfort zone.

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45 downstairs

My wife's out of town,
And that's a good thing. Because
This smell could change things.

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44 downstairs

I just missed out on
4 shits in a day to get
Number 44.

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43 home

Third shit of the day,
But my intestines say a
Fourth is forthcoming.

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42 home

My body feels like
It's in the white zone. Only
It's just unloading.

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41 downstairs

It's Presidents' Day.
And this shit made me Rushmore
Than I wanted to.

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40 downstairs

The sushi last night
Was raw, but then it got cooked
In my intestines.

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39 home

I'm holding back from
Making a gross joke about
Assorted chocolates.

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38 downstairs

For Valentine's Day,
You'd think this would be heart-shaped.
But you would be wrong.

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37 home

If you thought you heard
Me making Alka Seltzer,
I would understand.

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36 downstairs

There's "dry January,"
And based on the last two days,
Mush February.

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35 home

Third turd! Have you heard?
I concurred that they occurred,
Though my vision's blurred.

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34 home

I must've eaten
Something my body dislikes.
This is evidence.

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33 downstairs

A rainy Wednesday,
But it feels more like Thursday.
Wait, I meant Turdsday.

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32 work

There's one person here,
And he sits near the bathroom.
It's quick shittin' time!

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31 downstairs

Super Bowl Sunday!
And I'm starting it off by
Punishing this bowl.

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30 home

Yesterday

I had 5 minutes
And my butt took that challenge
Quite seriously.

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29 home

Farting up a storm
Turned to shitting up a storm.
All while it's raining.

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28 downstairs

Leaving for work soon,
And dropping this weight should help
My non-gas mileage.

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27 home

Big NBA trade
That has nothing to do with
Me shitting. But still.

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26 home

I almost clogged it
During my courtesy flush.
That's saying something.

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