290 kids’ bathroom

I must've used this,
But the phase "third time's the harm"
Works so perfectly.

Sent from my iPhone

289 home

Second of the day
But probably not the last
Before '25.

Sent from my iPhone

288 downstairs

Positive no more!
Except that I'm positive
This shit be stinky.

Sent from my iPhone

287 home

Can I blame Covid
For nearly a week-long break?
'Cause that's all I got.

Sent from my iPhone

286 downstairs

I'm living downstairs
Away from the germs. But she's
Missing all this stench.

Sent from my iPhone

285 downstairs

Can I blame my wife
And her Covid for this shit?
Well, no. But watch me.

Sent from my iPhone

284 downstairs

My wife has covid.
And I'm glad that there's no vid
Of this nasty shit.

Sent from my iPhone

283 downstairs

My wife has a cold,
But my farts weren't unnoticed
Because sound exists.

Sent from my iPhone

282 home

Wow wow wow wow wow.
That was a shitload of shit.
I guess all dumps are?

Sent from my iPhone

281 downstairs

My brother's birthday
Has nothing to do with this.
And yet, here we are.

Sent from my iPhone

280 downstairs

This wasn't my best
Shit of all time, but still a
Solid number two.

Sent from my iPhone

279 home

Yesterday

Knew I wasn't done,
But I wasn't prepared to
Sit and wait all day.


Sent from my iPhone

278 downstairs

I tried this last night,
But all the sound and fury
Signified nothing.

Sent from my iPhone

277 downstairs

I'm getting this out
To preserve my new car's smell
A little longer.

Sent from my iPhone

276 home

Friday the 13th!
Nothing today will scare me
More than this odor.

Sent from my iPhone

275 home

(Yesterday)

Third time in a day!
I hope no one wasted their
3 wishes on…these.

Sent from my iPhone

274 home

I had to run here.
Well, I technically waddled
But I think that counts.

Sent from my iPhone

273 home

Working from home means
Pushing, shitting, and wiping
From home. And crying.

Sent from my iPhone

272 work

I had a quick break
And made the most of it. Well,
I sure made something.

Sent from my iPhone

271 downstairs

I've been here a while,
But somehow the bathroom still
Has that new fart smell.

Sent from my iPhone

270 downstairs

Sunday night football
Has nothing to do with this,
And yet I wrote it.

Sent from my iPhone

269 downstairs

Football's coming on,
Let's hope there's no second down
From this tight end. Punt.

Sent from my iPhone

268 home

If at first you don't
Push feces through your rectum,
Try to push again.

Sent from my iPhone

267 home

Before my next call,
I thought it wise to, ya know,
Destroy the bathroom.

Sent from my iPhone

266 home

"Do I have to shit?"
I wondered for one second.
Then my answer plopped.

Sent from my iPhone

265 downstairs

Cut my workout short
When I felt this one brewing.
Guess it's butthole day.

Sent from my iPhone

264 downstairs

It's Cyber Monday,
But this shit is analog.
I don't know either.

Sent from my iPhone

263 home

I just keep farting!
Occasionally, like now,
The farts are solid.

Sent from my iPhone