Knew it wouldn't clog
Because it was a whole lot
Of splattered grossness.
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Thursday, February 26, 2026
Wednesday, February 25, 2026
Tuesday, February 24, 2026
Monday, February 23, 2026
47 downstairs
That took a long time
And delayed my shower, but
I couldn't say no.
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And delayed my shower, but
I couldn't say no.
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Saturday, February 21, 2026
46 downstairs
Can I just not shit
For like a month or something?
My ass needs a break.
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For like a month or something?
My ass needs a break.
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Friday, February 20, 2026
45 kids’ bathroom
Was gassy all day
And clenching my cheeks at work.
They're soooo unclenched now.
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And clenching my cheeks at work.
They're soooo unclenched now.
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44 downstairs
Friday morning shits
Fittingly make my end weak
Before the weekend.
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Fittingly make my end weak
Before the weekend.
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Wednesday, February 18, 2026
43 kids’ bathroom
My wife just asked me
Through the door if I'm ok.
I mean, yes and no.
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Through the door if I'm ok.
I mean, yes and no.
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Tuesday, February 17, 2026
Monday, February 16, 2026
40 home
My butt is hopeful
That I'm done shitting today.
It needs some "me time."
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That I'm done shitting today.
It needs some "me time."
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39 downstairs
Oof, that was a lot.
My legs fell fully asleep,
But my nose still worked.
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My legs fell fully asleep,
But my nose still worked.
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Friday, February 13, 2026
38 home
This food's journey here
Was treacherous and gruesome.
Enjoy the bath, shit.
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Was treacherous and gruesome.
Enjoy the bath, shit.
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37 downstairs
Thank god it's Friday,
And also for shits that are
Easy and mess-free.
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And also for shits that are
Easy and mess-free.
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Wednesday, February 11, 2026
36 downstairs
The fuck, Chipotle?!?
I thought you and my stomach
Got along nicely.
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I thought you and my stomach
Got along nicely.
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Tuesday, February 10, 2026
35 work
Trying to be fast
So people think it's just pee.
They'd be wrong. It's shit.
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So people think it's just pee.
They'd be wrong. It's shit.
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Monday, February 9, 2026
34 home
Post Super Bowl shit!
Not tender like the chicken
Nor squares like the sheet.
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Not tender like the chicken
Nor squares like the sheet.
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Sunday, February 8, 2026
Friday, February 6, 2026
Thursday, February 5, 2026
31 downstairs
I hope this gross shit
Doesn't mean I'm getting sick.
Shut up, it so could!
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Doesn't mean I'm getting sick.
Shut up, it so could!
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Wednesday, February 4, 2026
30 downstairs
My dog pooped outside,
Then I pooped inside. Who wins?
Trick question. It's love.
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Then I pooped inside. Who wins?
Trick question. It's love.
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Tuesday, February 3, 2026
29 downstairs
I still have my brains,
Which is surprising since I
Thought I shit them out.
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Which is surprising since I
Thought I shit them out.
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28 downstairs
Couldn't go all day,
So this morning one feels like
I already won.
Sent from my iPhone
So this morning one feels like
I already won.
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