Thursday, February 26, 2026

51 home

Knew it wouldn't clog
Because it was a whole lot
Of splattered grossness.

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Wednesday, February 25, 2026

50 home

What caused this? It's gross,
Forceful, and unexpected.
Just like your mom. Zing!

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49 home

What the fuck was that?
A hidden ass bazooka
Just announced itself.

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Tuesday, February 24, 2026

48 home

My wife's leaving town,
So I can stink up with place
With impunity.

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Monday, February 23, 2026

47 downstairs

That took a long time
And delayed my shower, but
I couldn't say no.

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Saturday, February 21, 2026

46 downstairs

Can I just not shit
For like a month or something?
My ass needs a break.

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Friday, February 20, 2026

45 kids’ bathroom

Was gassy all day
And clenching my cheeks at work.
They're soooo unclenched now.

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44 downstairs

Friday morning shits
Fittingly make my end weak
Before the weekend.

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Wednesday, February 18, 2026

43 kids’ bathroom

My wife just asked me
Through the door if I'm ok.
I mean, yes and no.

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Tuesday, February 17, 2026

42 work

As an early bird,
Do I make the early turd?
That would be absurd.

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Monday, February 16, 2026

41 downstairs

And here's number three.
That's #2 #3
If you were confused.

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40 home

My butt is hopeful
That I'm done shitting today.
It needs some "me time."

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39 downstairs

Oof, that was a lot.
My legs fell fully asleep,
But my nose still worked.

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Friday, February 13, 2026

38 home

This food's journey here
Was treacherous and gruesome.
Enjoy the bath, shit.

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37 downstairs

Thank god it's Friday,
And also for shits that are
Easy and mess-free.

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Wednesday, February 11, 2026

36 downstairs

The fuck, Chipotle?!?
I thought you and my stomach
Got along nicely.

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Tuesday, February 10, 2026

35 work

Trying to be fast
So people think it's just pee.
They'd be wrong. It's shit.

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Monday, February 9, 2026

34 home

Post Super Bowl shit!
Not tender like the chicken
Nor squares like the sheet.

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Sunday, February 8, 2026

33 home

Pre Super Bowl shit!
I'm making this toilet bowl
Very unsuper.

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Friday, February 6, 2026

32 downstairs

My offering to
The toilet gods may be small,
But it is potent.

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Thursday, February 5, 2026

31 downstairs

I hope this gross shit
Doesn't mean I'm getting sick.
Shut up, it so could!

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Wednesday, February 4, 2026

30 downstairs

My dog pooped outside,
Then I pooped inside. Who wins?
Trick question. It's love.

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Tuesday, February 3, 2026

29 downstairs

I still have my brains,
Which is surprising since I
Thought I shit them out.

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28 downstairs

Couldn't go all day,
So this morning one feels like
I already won.

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