25 home

Super strong gas pains.
I was expecting something…
Grander. No complaints.

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24 kids’ bathroom

Quick Shittin' McGee
Is catchier than the name
Fast Poopin' Jones, right?

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23 home

I waited for home,
Which was good for privacy
But bad for wifey.

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22 kids’ bathroom

Quick break, then more work.
I mean, I count this as work
But it's unpaid work.

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21 home

From where I'm sitting,
I can't see myself. I bet
My face turned red though.

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20 home

Don't have time for this,
But I guess it's faster than
Cleaning soiled pants.

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19 downstairs

My butt sounded like
It was peeling out. So that
Explains the skid marks.

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18 downstairs

Delayed my shower
So I could get this out first.
No rookie moves here.

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17 work

Had to leave for work,
But light traffic gave me time
For pre-meeting shit.

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16 home

Don't call me Fart Man.
I'm a gentleman. Call me
Fartholomew Man.

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15 downstairs

I pushed for a bit,
But then I could sit back and
Let gravity work.

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14 home

This one was forceful.
Like "hold onto the toilet
For dear life" forceful.

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13 downstairs

Stopped my walk for this.
Probably a good thing since
Shitwalking ain't cool.

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12 downstairs

There's more coming soon.
It's just warming up in the
On-deck circle…hole.

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11 downstairs

It's a new work week,
And this is a bad omen:
So much sputtering.

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10 home

The school in Wicked
Is called Shiz. If I went there
I'd be the Shiznit.

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9 downstairs

This doesn't feel good.
In fairness, it smells bad too.
Jury's out on taste.

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8 downstairs

My ass is weary.
Both "my ass" meaning "my butt"
And just all of me.

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7 home

Yesterday

So much craziness,
But I can count on one thing:
This shit is solid.

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6 downstairs

Thursday
Evacuation
Is no excuse for me to
Forget a haiku.

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5 downstairs

You ever feel like
A human ketchup bottle?
No? Oh. Me neither.

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4 downstairs

My ass skipped a day,
But I could go twice today
To get crack on track.

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3 downstairs

Well looky here, folks!
The streak continues. In fact,
Just call me Shit Streak.

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2 downstairs

Two shits in two days.
If I keep that up…let's see…
I can't do that math.

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1 downstairs

So it's a new year,
And here I am with the same
Stinky ass poop hole.

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